Saturday, December 31, 2005

Ah... Time for a Drink.

Well, God Damn It. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, so let's get going. We're kicking off 2006 -- the year Democrats finally free our Democracy held-hostage -- in grand style!

The drinking theme is important two ways today. I'll share some thoughts with you on the subject later. Think unreported news item of the holiday past.

In the spirit of the holiday, however, I offer this suggestion for the rest of December 31.

These are absolutely lovely at any hour.

Please stay at home if you start drinking at noon (I will, because I am).

Please do not drink and drive.

Willy Nilly

I've seen posts from Willy Nilly in various places, but just added the "World of Willy Nilly" to my list of Illinois blogs.

I keep holding out hope for Peoria Pundit, Bill Dennis -- a fine journalist and a true idealist (we certainly need more of those) -- but Willy's sentiments on the LaHood gang more closely resemble mine.

Good stuff, Willy. Drop me an email sometime.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Are My Adoring Readers Still Out There?

I'm ready for my close-up...

So I might be a card-carrying Hastert-Hater, but I still honor Christmas, for Christ's sake.

I'm baaaaaaaack. I'm black. And I'm still pissed at this government masked as a democracy that we have running things.

More on the way.

Holy Cow.

Is Barron's calling for the impeachment of the president?

You take a week or two off during the hallowed holidays, and look what happens, for Christ's sake?!
    Willful disregard of a law is potentially an impeachable offense.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Big Trouble for Big Jim.

Until today's Trib, I was pretty sure that only Mike Miner and I were the ones who saw this coming.

No one on that board should be able to claim ignorance of what was going on.

I think that's what that little fiduciary responsibility thing is all about.

I could be wrong.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Hastert: Torture, Secret Search/Seizure Good! (Grunt!)


This is a man who has no shame.

Who has the audacity to claim that as the Speaker, he holds to the time-honored position of not voting on measures in the House.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert hides behind a thin veil of gentlemanly comportment.

My Dad had a name for you.

The Death of Freedom.

House passes extension of so-called "Patriot Act" provisions.

Denny Hastert (Heart)s Illegal Search and Seizure.
    Solemn Strikes the Funeral Chime,
    Notes of our Departing Time,
    As we journey here below
    Through a pilgrimage of woe.

Denny Hastert: Accountable To No One.

Period. Got that, fella?

That's what you get when you call and ask the staff how much he paid for his 192-acre estate, if it was a lump sum cash payment, if the mortgage on the house was taken during the closing or after. Maybe to provide some cover for a guy who pretends he just fell off the cabbage truck, and who paid millions in cash for an estate, eh?

Maybe it was for a loan to a family member, hmm?

In any case, ask Hastert's multimillion dollar press organization a tough question and you get a shove back.

That's all Heavy D and the boyz give the NPAT survey, too.

Because it's none of your business.

Here's a Blog Topic for Denny Hastert.

Let's talk about torture, shall we?

It's a nice holiday topic that we can all appreciate right about now. I don't see that Hastert has mumbled anything original (or substantive) on the topic. Anywhere.

Let's not hype it up with Fristy talk about "taking out your family" (and by that, I do not mean out for fried chicken).

You can justify anything with that kind of rhetoric. After all, our Moon demonstrates a threat of falling from the sky and crashing into the earth, yet we don't advocate unloading the world's nuclear arsenal in an attempt to blow it out of the night sky.

So let's see some folksy talk on the DennyBlog about this purported "torture ban compromise" between McCain and Hadley.

Why won't Denny Hastert tell us what he thinks about torture?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Zippy the Pinhead at the Mall.

Hastert joins the Commerce Secretary for a "shopping trip" to tell everyone how great the economy is doing.

Because we need to keep hearing it. Over and over again. So we'll believe it.

Keep saying it. It becomes true!

Notice in the article, where Hastert and Gutierrez speak of their mutual support of the protracted, painful plan of re-inventing the American economy of the late-19th Century on the backs of lower-wage labor and the poor while lowering taxes for the wealthy, The Speaker mentions buying treats for the Dogs. Nothing for Mrs. H.

Maybe he's already gotten her presents from foreign nationals this year. Or maybe he got her something with the cash he took from them.

Remember 12-12.

Forget 9-11. 12-12 was possibly the worst day in American history.

Stop Living In Your 12-11 Mindset™.

We're Living in a 12-13 World®.

Because 12-12 Changed Everything™.

How very sad, but true.

Via the lovely and talented Carolyn Kay at

That's Not Funny, That's Sick.

As funny as Karl Rove Condoms seems, it's kind of gross to think of that image, or its association with sex... or touching it with my body parts...

Oh, my God.

One thing for sure: No Hastert Condoms or Sensenbrenner Condoms on the market.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Speaking of Bad...

My memory fails me. I'm positive that I saw polls a week or two ago that showed Odd Rod leading any GOP challenger. Haven't seen anything like that since when I've gone to document it.

What are you seeing, and what are your thoughts on a Blagojevich-Topinka race for ILGOV?

No Clemency for Tookie.

Anybody surprised? Not me. Schwarzenegger is racking up a number of really bad, politically-motivated decisions.

Good argument for the "Life/Hard Labor" sentences taking the place of the death penalty, no?

DOD Ships Dead Home as Commercial Cargo.

CNN just reported a heartbreaking story about how the military is shipping the cardboard caskets containing the remains of fallen U.S. soldiers in the cargo holds of commercial airliners.

Not military transport. Not military Honor Guards meeting the remains to honor war heroes.

Baggage handlers handle the cardboard boxes along with the other freight that's shipped in the hold.

They ride home with luggage. No flags.

Apparently, like hiring a company to serve (spoiled, in many cases) meals, it's more "cost-effective" this way.

Why doesn't Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert get on the phone, with all his "power and might" and give the DOD Hell about this?

Is it because he didn't serve, and got an interesting deferment to stay out of VietNam?

Is it because he wasn't aware of the horrible treatment our soldiers and their families are given in such circumstances?

Is it because he doesn't give a single God-Damn about it?

The Phoney "War on Christmas."

Sam Seder is eating alive Bob Knight of the American Family Somethingorother Institute on CNN.

What a ridiculous waste of time that could be spent covering actual news.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

DennyBlog Fever: Catch It!

The latest installment to the Official Blog of the Worst House Speaker in U.S. History.

"It's Just a God-Damned Piece of Paper..."

More evidence that President George W. Bush is drinking again.
    “I don’t give a goddamn,” Bush retorted. “I’m the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.”

    “Mr. President,” one aide in the meeting said. “There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution.”

    “Stop throwing the Constitution in my face,” Bush screamed back. “It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!”

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Monkeys May Fly Out Butt, Rumsfeld Says.

Give me a fucking break. OK?

Do you need a fucking chronological list of the times this asshole has made this statement to see that it's all bullshit?

I actually prefer Midway Airport...

I like Midway better than O'Hare. Always have.

They have a better on-time percentage there, and basically, SWA is the best airline in the industry, as far as I'm concerned.

Who needs First Class? Just get me there. Alive. On time.

Southwest Airlines has a great record for doing that thousands of times each week with its customers.

One can only imagine what the people in the car at Central Avenue were thinking when the plane went through the fence.

I've driven there hundreds of times, I'm sure.

Oh. My. God.

I passed up this very flight to get home earlier today.

Sweet Jesus.

I (heart) Nancy Pelosi.

For using the privilege of her position to craft the "Hi-Ho, FUCK YOU, Denny Resolution."

Righteous, babe.

Josh Marshall says it looks like another raucous night in the House. I say watch for J. Dennis Hastert and his goons to write up a statement in which he shakes his fat little finger at Pelosi and cries foul again.

Nice coaching job, Denny.

Officials Say Air Marshals Did Right Thing

MIAMI (AP) - The White House said Thursday that two federal air marshals appeared to have acted properly when they shot and killed an agitated passenger who claimed to have a bomb in his backpack.

Well, no shit?

This is another diversionary tactic from the White House. It's like a Senate testimony by Rice, Rumsfeld, Tommy Thompson, or any of the other misanthropes who have learned to answer the question, "How long have you been taking bribes, M. Secretary?" with "Well, let me first say thank you to the Senator from Glibdom, who so graciously, yet arrogantly and forthrightly and heroically... blah, blah, blah..."

Enough. And enough with the stupid fucking questions from the press on the White House beat.

Let's get a couple of things straight, right now. First of all, Scott McClellan was the picture of so-called "PC" in making this incredible understatement. He chose his words very carefully, which considering how much he normally distorts reality in his "gaggles," isn't really saying too much. And if this isn't like running out the clock at a basketball game where your opponent is kicking your ever-loving ass in the 4th period, I don't know what it. Enough.

Second, I'm a bit concerned with the press referring to this poor, lost soul as "Roberto Baltazar" for some time before the correct name was used. That really says a lot about our media when they fuck up foreign names.

Finally, I travel quite a lot, and if what I heard today is true (and I flew on a day trip, btw, in and out of O'Hare today) I'm very happy to know the Air Marshalls were on the job and did what they did.

HRC's world:
Plane is full of people (could be in the air, could be on the ground).
Person runs up and down the aisle with hand in bag, claiming to have bomb.
Person is shot to death when refusing to take hand out of bag and lie down, as demanded repeatedly by Air Marshalls.
Person (insane, or not, medicated or not) is shot (to death or not) in an attempt to avert disaster.

Thank you, Air Marshalls.

Now, let's get back to the real news, like the story about Denny Hastert's Congress fucking the middle class a little bit closer into oblivion today.

Hosea 8:7

    "For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: it hath no stalk; the bud shall yield no meal: if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up."

Don't mean to get all Bibled up on you all. Just the same, these God-damned liars will pay for this tax cut.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Denny Hastert's America

Cunningham's booty takes the perp walk.

Nice video. Via Talking Points Memo.

What a Difference a Day Makes.

Or the hair dye. Or something.

Is anyone deluded enought to think this woman is really going to be our next governor?

Before... After.

Or somesuch. Spooky.

Chicago Life.

If you don't get the Sunday NYT, there is a very nice piece on Bobby Kennedy, Jr. -- the cover story -- in the accompanying Chicago Life magazine.

The Sunday NYT package, btw, with the addition of Chicago Life, the bimonthly mag, has such depth, such great photography, is so packed full of Chicago advertising, it's no wonder the Chicago Tribune is laying people off again.

The loss of the storied City News is just a damned shame, especially since it's another example of a company that can't seem to manage well, then expects the employees to pay the price.

Denny's Long Christmas Vacation.

Wouldn't be great if you had a job where you only had to go to the office eight or so months out of the year?

Now, don't start a bitch about teachers. I'm talking about J. Dennis Hastert's latest under-handed move to bail out his mentor, Tom DeLay.

ThinkProgress reports today that Hastert and his goons have decided to open the first session of 2006 on January 31 to give DeLay a chance to move his case through the courts and possibly still be re-elected Majority Leader.

As we used to say when the opposing team ran out the clock in the last five minutes, that's a hell of a way to win a ballgame, coach.

Tell Hastert's lackeys that you won't allow him to shut down the nation's business for a month while there's work to be done. Unless Fristy follows Hastert, the Senate will be in session for two weeks before the House is back to work.

Give them a call right now.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I Have Made The Grade.

Karie over at K3 made a note of my modesty when I boasted of being listed as an "Essential Blog" (now a "Blog you should know") at The Inside Dope.

Just tonight I see that I've finally made it.

I am now listed in the blog roll of Rich Miller's CapitolFax blog.

Wow. I can die in my sleep. Happy.


Hastert's Political Tree.

J. Dennis Hastert can even politicize a God-damned tree, it seems.

I missed this TOTN piece last week while on the road, but it explains that it was, in fact, the Architect of the Capitol who changed the name of the Capitol Christmas Tree to a "Holiday Tree." Because he's Jewish.

By leaving it open to conjecture, you see, Hastert and his press aides at the Washington Times made readers struggle to make the connection between, oh, let's see... the 1990s and the party in power at the time, and... oh... CLINTON DID IT!

They're so crafty! Crafty, but dirty. And just in time for the Holiday season.

But wait just a minute, there. You could make a lot of this. Is Hastert thumbing his nose at Jews? They killed Jesus, didn't they? Ouch!

One could righteously demand that the number of pillars supporting the face of the Capitol be changed to five, to represent the Five Pillars of Islam. Perhaps we should light a National Menorah in front of the Capitol Reflecting Pool.

Diwali is already past, but its celebration, along with its symbolism, may cause quite a stir in D.C., Heavy D. Not among Hindus, however.

What about an annual National Memorial to the Native Americans? Oh, please! Who am I kidding?!

Not that we would all appreciate a Christmas tree that's planted on the Capitol grounds and living and growing. Oh, no. We wouldn't want to be tree huggers, now would we?

No, sir. J. Dennis Hastert can make even a Christmas tree into an ugly political symbol for the party he represents.

Like I Said This Morning...

Apple, NBC make iPod deal.

Just a few years ago, Apple's market capital was only about $6 billion, the laughingstock of the technology sector.

Michael Dell said they should give the stockholders their money back and call it a day.

Steve Jobs has ripened Apple into a $62.4 billion company, as of close of the market today.

Dell, on the other hand, innovates nothing and is worth $74.5 billion.

Hark! The Speaker Mumbles!

Hastert releases a statement on the resignation of Duke Cunningham, who tearfully resigned in disgrace more than a week ago, after pleading guilty to taking more than $2.4 million in bribes from Defense contractors, charges which are part of an ongoing investigation.
    “Congressman Duke Cunningham’s letter of resignation will be formally submitted to the House of Representatives when it convenes today. Congressman Cunningham is a war hero whose service to defending America had built a deep respect for him on Capitol Hill. However, the public trust he has built through his military and congressional career has been violated. The behavior by Congressman Cunningham is unacceptable. No one is above the law. He will find that his actions will have serious consequences.”
Of course, when you're the Master of the Obvious, as J. Dennis is, you can get away with something like this. It just gets lost in the blur of excrement that is released in fits and starts from your multi-million-dollar "press operation."
That's all there is, by the way, if you're too sick of Heavy D's prosaic words to follow the link. That's really it! And it's amazingly a lot like the talking points the president carefully repeated last Wednesday in his only public remarks about Cunningham:
    "The idea of a congressman taking money is outrageous," the president said. "And Congressman Cunningham is going to realize that he has broken the law and is going to pay a serious price, which he should."
A couple things sort of jump out of the screen at you.

First, it's another monolithic blunder, courtesy of Hilary Swank, er Ken Mehlman, who proves again that the only thing he's really good at (I hear, anyway) is faxing shit out to people in massive doses. The fact that Cunningham was not counseled by Republican leaders to resign his seat before entering his guilty plea and breaking down on-camera is a mark that will be on J. Dennis Hastert and his cronies forever. And they have no way to come out a week later and claim they were involved in his plea. None at all.

Second thing is Hastert found it more compelling to have the "press operation" paint a bull's eye on Howard Dean today before releasing the Cunningham statement.

Once again, if you didn't think that J. Dennis Hastert was the ugly political animal he has revealed in all of these shenannigans, you simply were not paying attention. With J. Dennis, it's all about politics all the time. And time is just about up. Voters in IL CD-14 will not let down the 20-year veteran of phoney, ugly political gaming (a longtime advocate of term limits prior to 1998), but voters across the country have his number.

The Next Big Media Failure.

Last night, as blogspot was in its final throes, I was polishing off a masterpiece on what I see as the dawning of the next great misstep by the media/technology synthesis project. When blogspot finally died, so did my piece.

Yesterday, as CNN announced its newest pay-per-view service, CNN(Pipeline), it occurred to me this was simply brilliant. More, faster, better! Content! Timeliness!

As a heavy media user on my mobile phone during travel, I am sick and tired of the lag time in the media in getting the feeds to these services. I pay a hefty fee for that every month, after all.

I was right! It's brilliant! Except for one thing: It's none of that.

Which makes Pipeline the next media failure in progress. Hints to CNN: I'm not going to pay your corporate parent, Time-Warner, another nickel for content that I already pay for on my TV. Not for something like news. Another thing you guys don't get is that just as the meaty content must transform, so must the sweets that fatten your middles. More on that in the jump.

Like NBC and CBS, which are tip-toeing around iTunes by wrapping themselves up in some different, higher priced scheme with the satellite and cable providers ($2.99 a download?) It's not too late for these guys to cover their recent misstep, so you see, hope springs eternal, even in the technology age.

The first thing the greedy media doesn't get is price point. Just as Steve Jobs told recording industry execs recently when they announced they were nearing the time for a price increase for downloads: 99 cents is where it's at.

The flip-side of that, of course, is wondering what Edgar Bronfman is going to look like with 100 million iPods shoved up his loathsome, spotty behind.

The iPod Family is a complete commentary on where media and technology need to come together. Small, medium, large. All sexy. All with a specific purpose.

News: We hunger for more, not less. Stop shortening the stories, and maybe we'll tune back in to the network. Really. Give us the meat. Give us an hour network news broadcast. Give us the little shorty clips for the iPod. Where Pipeline fails is in its belief that these things can be "rented" for $3 a month or at the great price of $25 a year.

Fuck you, CNN. And while we're at it, here's a big old Fuck You for MSNBC for being awful at what you do, too. And for never living up to the promise of transforming the mediascape. A bit.

We already pay our service providers big money to bring you into our homes. Don't even think about charging us again. You're not that good.

And stop running stories that ask what's wrong with our kids these days. You know what the problem is. Your corporate parents should be ashamed.

Entertainment: Give us something good. Something that's occasionally good will suffice at this point. How I long for black and white re-runs on cable of some of the filmed soundstage productions that trumpeted television's beginnings.

Here's the short and sweet on television entertainment.

One: There's only so many shows that can make us laugh hard enough to keep tuning in for the 10 years you want to run these shows and wring the life out of the stars in exchange for the bazillions you'll pay them to keep the warm gravy flowing. Enough! Jim Belushi is pretty funny. Not every week.

Two: Stop hiring cute little vixens who make men pant and masturbate in the car on the way to work. As a woman, I would want to see Britney Spears's little boobies bounce or Janet Jackson's nipple ring about as much as I would want to see a lion eating Brian Williams. Well, bad analogy, maybe. That could actually be pretty good.

And I don't want kids to see any of that. Tell me to change the channel or turn it off? Oh, how original. The age of increasing shocking and sexier television has got to plateau at some point. After all, I love sex. But how many fucking orgasms does it take in one night before I just drop dead? And who's happy then?

Stop creating a problem, then wringing your hands over it, or saying that that's what we want. Collectively, we're sick of it.

Advertising: This is the biggie. Millions are reaped by leasing channels overnight to infomercial peddlers. And that's OK. Want to fund some of this stuff we want for free? Make the ads shorter. Nano, baby.

The future of broadcast advertising will herald an age where the 30-second spot seems like an infomercial. Yes, sometimes I skip the beginning of the radio show because the news plays for five minutes, but stop with the 3-6 minute commercial breaks. We want to love sponsors again. The way we'll do that is when we hear that they're paying good money to have a couple or no commercial breaks during the airing of a great story. Think "Saving Private Ryan."

Five-second sponsor ads can be very creative, and could start a revolution in broadcast advertising everyone would welcome.

Monday, December 05, 2005

The Hastert Link to Cunningham Bribes

Here's the first solid link that's likely to suck The Speaker closer to the Cunningham case's "Co-Conspirator No.1."

Showing His Colors Again.

Why is Denny Hastert saying nothing in response to the 9/11 Commission's Report Card? Hit a nerve, Heavy D?

I love this part:
    "This week, Congress will vote to extend tax relief that creates jobs. If tax relief is allowed to expire, a family of four making $60,000 today will see its Federal income taxes eventually go up by more than 50 percent. Hiking taxes on America's families and small businesses would destroy jobs. The worst thing that we can do at this time of the year is play Scrooge and hike taxes on American families like some Democrats are suggesting."
The first statement is an outright lie.

The second sentence is a mischaracterization (typical Hastert-speak, when he's not saying a lot without saying anything at all).

The last sentence would be true if it were, well, reality.

No Democrat is suggesting increasing taxes on "American families."

No Democrat is suggesting that taxes should increase on any family of four earning $60,000.

What Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert says elsewhere in the prepared statement is that Congress is prepared to make permanent the tax cuts for the rich that justify the means for an ugly Fristy-Hastert pact to slash meaningful social programs.

And all before Christmas.


Hastert Silent.

In the wake of a polite, but overdue, ass-whipping by the 9/11 Commission Chairmen, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is silent.

As usual.

The silence is quite telling. This is no leader, a man who (either) ignores (or is left speechless by) such criticism over our national security.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Way Out of Iraq.

Joe Conason on what seems to be the only reasonable way out of the disaster Congress and George W. Bush have given us.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Sweet Home Chicago.

Well, Sweet Coooooold Home Chicago, I hear. And, of course, I've got a ways to drive once I land there later. Fifty miles out of the Loop, really. That's the place I love.

It's been right around freezing here at night, but 50s-60s throughout the day all week, so I'll miss the weather here.

I've been in Sin City all week, so apologies to the regulars who have been emailing and checking in frequently. Thanks so much, by the way. I'm about to duck into a plane for the flight home, but I've got plenty to bring you later and then over the weekend.

That is, if I haven't killed too many brain cells this week.

Hastert's Oversight: A Case Study.

The current closed-door session in the Senate is over a perfect example of the kind of oversight Denny Hastert and his minions in the House have given us.

The Pentagon is paying Ahmad Chalabi's newspaper to write anonymous "news stories" favorable to the U.S. point of view.

Nice Coaching job, Denny.

More here, here and here.

Denny Hastert's America

Wages still aren't keeping pace with inflation; workers working fewer hours; Fed rate increases almost assured.

Yeah, looks like the economy is "roaring," alright. Roaring if you're Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert, living on a wooded estate with a guaranteed pension of over $250,000 a year.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Hastert: A Master of the Obvious

Wow. This is really deep stuff. Once again, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert releases a statement to react to someone else's statement. (That's leadership, you know)

How much courage and brains do you need to muster to roll out this kind of crap:
    “We must never forget the contributions of Rosa Parks. She sparked a new racial consciousness in America and led this nation away from its segregationist history. Today, we commit Rosa Parks and her historic contributions to our country’s eternal memory by making it law that her statue will be placed in the heart of our country.”
Once again, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert employs just enough effort to get one statement out in the press today, then goes back to the donut trough.

Some "Coach." Yesterday it was a proclamation on the "Christmas tree." Today, it's paying homage to a hero of our time and trying to trump the hero in the process.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Exclusive: Hastert Gets Cold Shoulder.

At Home.

That's right. Insiders tell me that Mrs. Speaker has had it with the "one year" job J. Dennis told her he was committed to in 1998. One year was followed by one more year...

Then one more year. Then another.

Finally, Jean Hastert has made her agenda her own when J. Dennis comes home for the weekend. When he's home, she's busy.

"It's gotten so bad," one tells me, "that I doubt they even (brush elbows) anymore."

NYT (Heart)s Hastert's Flip Flop.

And Media Matters called them on it.

Hastert Polishes Up His Ugly Side.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert fires a hand grenade at Nancy Pelosi, and dusts off the old "flip flop" line for old time's sake.

Of course, every statement and characterization in the last paragraph is either a lie or a distortion.

At least he didn't "hail" the Bush speech, which was a real sucker.

Why does Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert have to lie so much to prop up this president and his war?

Ignoring the Truth About Our Economy.

While J. Dennis Hastert's mouthpieces are busily weaving and concocting another set of sophomoric countdowns for the Speaker's website, here is some good information to look over on what's really going on with the jobs numbers.

This is a timely read, since we're about to get snookered into another "hailing" of wonderful jobs number for November. Economists are predicting (guessing) that Friday's jobs numbers will reveal that a whopping 200,000 jobs were created in November.

Even if it's true, as Sperling points out, we're a long way from scratch under these nimrods.

Another note: look at the details. Where the jobs are created (like in our exploding government payrolls) and the quality of jobs, matters more than the actual numbers at this point.

Onward! Into 1990's wages!

Bush-Hastert's Broken Record.

How many fucking times do we have to listen to the same speech? Over and over again, we are told about a "major new strategy," or a "major speech on the war on terra," and then the president is given free live coverage for the length of his campaign stop.

What is new? I keep waiting for the feed from to ring up the alarms that Hastert is "hailing" something else now... Remember how he "hailed" those "impressive" job figures in October (...that were 100,000 short of scratch)? And never mind that less than half of those jobs don't suck.

Great quote just came over the wire from Bush's speech:
    ``They're helping to turn the tide in the struggle in freedom's
    favor,'' the president said.
What about "tightenin' the net?"

"We got a shdradigee fer victeree."


Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Hastert Speaks Out About Cunningham.

Here is the sound file of Hastert's comments today regarding the resignation of Randy Cunningham (R-Shame) (QuickTime required).

For the Speaker of the House to act as though he's, uh, "out of the loop" and say nothing about this, actually says a lot about what's going on in Washington today.

Cunningham was, after all, hand-picked by J. Dennis Hastert for a spot on the Permanent Select Committe on Intelligence.

You'd think Hastert would want to explain why he replaced seniority and experience with cronyism as the qualification for committee appointments.

Instead of explaining his boss's apparent disappearance at a critical time, Ron Bonjean today used his latest tool, "The Speaker's Journal," to post a link to the Washington Times story about Hastert's request to the President to change the name of the White House "Holiday Tree" back to the more familiar "Christmas Tree."

Incredible. But then again, Bonjean is the guy who served Trent Lott so well after the former Senate Majority Leader's comments supporting Strom Thurmond "back in the old days."

Cashing in on Iraq.

Parade magazine has the reputation of being the Paul Harvey section of the Sunday newspaper across the country.

Just the same, I give them credit for writing about Bush Administration veterans who are cashing in on their Iraq experience. While the full article (link) goes up December 5 (they apparently pub these a week after print), they have posted a chart with military pay.

Contrast the info in the chart with these tidbits offered in the brief article:
Disgraced former Pentagon official Paul Wolfowitz is now president of the World Bank, at a (tax-free) annual salary of $300,000, and receives other super perks (such as a mortgage allowance), presumably based on his Bush administration experience.
Disgraced former CIA Director George Tenet collected $4 million on a book deal he negotiated.
Gen. Tommy Franks (USA, Ret.) negotiated a $5 million fee for his memoirs.
"Jerry" Bremer receives $40,000 per speaking engagement (don't forget he resigned and left the country moments after the breathless "Iraq is Sovereign" note Condi passed to GW Bush).

Nothing is said or done about these things on Capitol Hill.


But in July, J. Dennis Hastert couldn't wait to unveil his great idea to have the House Ethics Committee pre-approve all Congressional travel in a feeble attempt to mute the public outcry over his boss's (and perhaps his own) despicable behavior.

Remember when that was going to be a "top priority?"

Fortunately (because it was another hare-brained Hastert scheme) it went nowhere.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Americans: Hastert Worse Than Gingrich.

This is no surprise.

During the mid-term election cycle, when Gingrich's number was nearly up, only 24% of those polled said they would vote for someone who supported his position.

Today, Denny Hastert has a whopping 22% of the American public on his side.

Sixty-Eight Percent of those polled this month said the country has "pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track."

Keep plugging away, Coach! There's a pony down in that pile of manure somewhere!

Hastert Was Against Murtha Before He Was For Him.

Flippity, flip, flip... Flop.

I have been saying since before I met him that Denny Hastert is a lying, double-dealing backstabbing SOB who lies out of both sides of his mouth.

I'll take the opportunity some other time to pick apart all the lies and distortions in these posts "from Denny."

The question is, why is Denny Hastert such a flip-flopper?

And what kind of political favor was called in that Denny Hastert had to hire a horrible "spokesman" like Ron Bonjean?

I mean, Sweet Jesus driving a gravy train...

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Zamora Needs Your Help

While I'm not advocating for either Democratic candidate in the IL CD14 race at this point, I believe everyone who has spent the time to put their political position to paper and has the "fire in the belly" to serve the public -- not the easiest job in the world -- should at least have a chance to have their name on the primary ballot.

I've received this email from Ruben Zamora over the holiday weekend:
    With a little under 3 weeks left to get petition
    signatures, I am pushing to get my 2,000 signatures!

    I still need help. I will be going out the
    23rd(today-10 am-4pm (Aurora area),
    25th-4:30 am (Galena Blvd. Walmart, Aurora),
    26th and 27th-10 am-6 pm (Aurora area,)
    and of course the next two weeks in Elgin, Dekalb, and
    others (early am-train stations, afternoon-homes.)
    I am having a fundraiser on Dec. 17th (stay tuned).
    If you can help, even for just a few hours, or if I
    can mail you a petition, please contact me.
    xxx-xxx-xxxx (cell)
    xxx-xxx-xxxx (home, leave message)
    Thank you.
    Ruben K. Zamora
Of course, you can also contact the campaign directly at the website.

Hastert Sinks to New Low.

I think this may even be lower than Newtie's public ratings.

Couldn't be happening to a nicer guy.

Link from Ruben Zamora. Thanks, Ruben.

PS: If anyone would like to work for Ruben on the press/communications side, he sure could use it. His campaign has all the looks of a one-man operation right now. This should not be happening in the district that includes Chicago's largest suburb.

Is Denny Hastert Done?

You have likely heard that Denny Hastert is either thinking about, or is definitely, retiring from his seat in 2008. That unfounded (if you ask one of his staffers) rumor has persisted since GW Bush's re-election last November.

But insiders have told me that there is a serious question about his ability to serve beyond his present term. And that serious question is now being asked by Mrs. Hastert, who has no interest in seeing her husband tarred by the ongoing litany of scandals that continue to erupt among his GOP allies.

Watch this space for more.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Real Speaker of the House.

This Miami Herald article on Jack Abramoff's alleged mob ties actually correctly names the House Speaker. First time I've seen that in a major daily.

You'll recall Denny Hastert's "late payment" to Abramoff for dining accommodations at a fundraiser at his Signature's Restaurant in D.C. Also, know that as long as Hastert is the "Speaker" he's going to be close to DeLay's "associates."

Also note in the BW article the fact that Hastert's multi-million-dollar "press crew" initially refused to disclose the sum owed. After someone noticed the obvious mob attitude ("It's none of your business!") the "lunch" tab, which reportedly earned Hastert's PAC more than $20,000, it was announced, was a mere $1,100. Nice take, boys.

Four Hastert-sized questions underlie all of this Hastert-Abramoff mess:
    • How long will it take Denny Hastert to disassociate himself with criminals?
    • Why do Hastert and his minions insist that this information is somehow private?
    • What exactly is he hiding, if anything?
    • When will Denny Hastert allow the Standards Committee to open an ethics investigation?
Thanks to B for the link.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Energy and Labor Issues.

As the announcement is made today that 30,000 GM workers will lose their jobs, GM will close 9 of its manufacturing facilities, Delphi (formerly GM-Delco) may file for bankruptcy in an effort to save itself, and Ford stock is trading just a squeak under what Delphi wants to pay its hourly employees, one wonders when our government will wake from its long, sleepy nap and begin to stand up for the hundreds of thousands of workers who will likely lose everything, and most assuredly lose their pensions.

Fortunately, there are already some laws to protect those pensions, but we're talking about "solving the problem" with (like Denny likes to say) your money.

It's also good that we have a Labor Secretary who has sex with the Senate Majority Whip (well, at least on paper). This quote from Chao's bio is remarkable:
    Since assuming office, Secretary Chao has moved swiftly to implement President George W. Bush's agenda to empower workers. Under her leadership, the Labor Department set new worker protection records through targeted enforcement efforts.
Does anybody even know what the hell that means?

Take a look at Chao's speeches. They're pure pap. While she talks about providing a hands-off government that allows businesses to expand and create jobs (not an original thought, mind you), she has absolutely nothing on the record for the safety and security of the jobs of US workers (except, safeguarding our manufacturing sector jobs, and the fact that workers, on the whole, are living and working in 2005 with less buying power than we had in 1989.

And there is not even hand-wringing on the DOL's site today over the disastrous situation at GM. Not a word.

At some point, this will be fodder for Republicans who seek to demonize Union workers, who have organized for the right the negotiate better pay, benefits, and conditions for themselves and their fellow workers. But at this point the problems are so deep, so many, and so complex due to the neglect of our government, it's hard to believe Republicans will be able to gain much ground as they did in the '80s under Reagan the Union buster.

Republicans, most of whom have no idea how any of these moving parts work together, are more than happy to simply blame workers for their problems. God-Damned Unions. Sold their people out. Asked for too damned much.

Here's a news flash. The problems at GM and Ford have little to do with the workers. Let's talk about the process. 8 million fucking things happen, all of which come together at the hands of workers like clockwork, to bring an automobile from an off-site design firm's drawing table to the showroom. Why not push more of that out into the auto dealer's arena. Without too much trouble, you could order a car from Detroit and save thousands of dollars in the process, but the manufacturers aren't willing to do that to the dealers.

Look at what our current process has done for us. After more than 100 years of automobile manufacturing improvements, during which GM came and went as the world's largest corporate entity (Google's market capital now dwarfs GM's), Detroit gives you very little in the way of the real choices that matter. Cloth or leather, chrome or color-keyed are not the big deals you think they are.

What if you want a turbo Diesel (or a bio-Diesel kit) under the hood. Forget it. Even if you could find Ethanol (I know exactly one station that sells pure ethanol) you can't easily get a product that runs on it. Like me, you may be waiting in line for one of a handful of hybrid designs. Because of poor production and product/marketing planning, Executive/White Collar Detroit is the reason you're waiting in line. It's not an assembly line worker's fault that a bunch of guys who don't even look particularly good in suits don't know how to shift production of SUVs to hybrids

All the while 30,000 people are looking ahead to the day they're eating raccoon down by the river because they've lost everything, and have spent a lifetime of hard work and study in a trade that has been forsaken by corporate geniuses who don't know shit from apple butter. Bet those geniuses get some kind of big government welfare plan from Fristy-Hastert in the coming weeks. What do you think?

It's great to talk about renewable energy, and how we should proceed, but who's going to sell it, and how with the manufacturing and distribution channels be set up? Do you really want BP and Mobil to own all of that, too?

It's horrible to think that GM and Delphi are going through such an upheaval, and haven't even begun to talk about radically changing the way cars and trucks are built and sold which is the underlying problem, not the workers.

It's incredible to think that when I was in college, there was a new curriculum being developed for energy studies, and now there's none at my alma mater. Did someone think this issue was under control, that it would just go away? Wasn't it "popular" to study energy issues any longer?

Too bad we don't have Cabinet officials who look at these broad issues with an eye on the future. And too bad today's Republican Party is unwrapping an anti-education agenda for the next round of elections. Too bad a former educator, such as Denny Hastert, who's married to a pensioned, retired educator, doesn't stand up for education and attempt to get goverment involved in promoting initiatives and studies that will have a far-reaching impact on our society.

It appears today's Labor and Energy Secretaries are asleep at the switch. Numbed into complacency like so many other unqualified lackeys who have been thrust into these powerful positions with no qualifications. Who am I to think that government's mission is to stimulate the marketplace and foster an attitude that improves the markets and paves the way for technological advances of the 21st century?

While Congress again takes a nice, long holiday break, they should be out in public discussing these issues. And for once the discussion should not turn on how one party gains political advantage. It should be done with an eye on the future.

Unlike the GM announcement today that is for today's market and next year's stockholder's meeting, these things need the guiding hand of a community of professionals and academics who are constantly focused on the fuzzy light on the horizon.

Tomorrow depends on it.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

South Central Rain

There have been a lot of emails and check-ins, I'm sure, just looking for the stuff I promised.

Sorry, but I have been unavoidably delayed. Even I could not make this self-imposed (and very public) deadline work out. Looks like I'll be ready in the near-term with the thing that " has national implications."

It's without haste that I say this, but perhaps I'll have something out there very, very shortly.

I'm sorry.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Hastert No Longer Under the Radar.

That's right. I was struck by all the flaming arrows going Denny's way as I checked the LeftyBlogs/Illinois listing this morning.

Good deal. But I'll be taking it all a notch higher very soon.

Pretty soon, we'll be seeing what kind of a coach (or a thin-skinned pussy) Hastert really is.

I have no doubts, as I've witnessed in the past, Denny Hastert can dish it out, but he can't take it. At all.

And "Hello" again to all my new friends clicking in from Washington.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Now, Wait Just a Darned Minute...

I'm still in "this week" territory.

A number of people have emailed already (enough already!) about missing my self-imposed deadline of posting something of national importance this week.

You should know that I think the weekend is still "this week" because usually "next week" begins on Monday.

Relax. Enjoy. Keep dropping in and laying down the comments. I wasn't just teasing.

Hastert and the Environment.

Funny thing about Denny Hastert and the nation's environment. He has no environmental voting record.

His routine response on the issue is along the lines of "... vote information from special interest groups..." but we know differently.

For more than 15 years, the Hasterts lived on a prime piece of property on US Route 34, almost directly at the end of Bristol Ridge Road. That means nothing to anyone who lives outside the area (sort of like Hastert himself), but to those who know him, that meant Denny didn't have far to go to stuff himself and tip a few back down at the Bristol Tap (which is a great place, btw).

The southeast side of Hastert's old property (which is now Yorkville, but only "technically" referred to as Yorkville when he lived there) is bounded by the Fox River, a fairly shallow but brisk river that runs through about 170 miles of Wisconsin and Illinois.

One other important thing about the Fox River is that it's an endangered waterway.

Now, funny that I note it's endangered. Technically, it's not anymore. But in 1999 (coincidentally, the year Hastert accidentally became Speaker) it was placed at number seven on the list of endangered waterways in the U.S., having been polluted so badly by lawn chemicals, sewage, runoff and by industrial waste from the Dial Corporation in Montgomery, Illinois. Dial had plenty of company, too; a number of other industrial sites dumped manufacturing waste in the Fox for years.

And, oh my goodness, yes. On the other side of the Fox River are two Superfund sites. I almost forgot about them.

Now, does it make sense that a guy who would live so close to lead-infested, EPA-inspected sites, and who for many years lived on a piece of land lapped upon by polluted waters is not voting on environmental issues?

I didn't think so, either. But that's still not the big issue I alluded to the other day.

This is just a little eye-opener that people outside IL CD-14 don't know much about.

Now you do.

Hastert Shows His Stripes.

They are yellow. They are dirty.

All you have to do to chronicle Denny Hastert's decades of political wheeling and dealing is look at what he's shown us the last two days.

Yesterday was his dark-hearted "compromise" which very selectively left a tiny portion of school lunch money in the budget for poor children. That allowed him to claim a "victory" on the budget vote (by only two votes) away from the watchful eye of the public, in another vote held open (for as long as it takes) at 1:45 a.m. today.

This dark-of-the-night vote did not cut a dollar of the graft money Hastert and Don Young swallowed whole from your pockets for their own wasteful highway and bridge plans at home.

Today these two actions color the character of this mean-spirited, lying political animal just perfectly. No one is going to forget this demagoguery when attacking a man who has shown 1,000 times the courage and leadership Denny Hastert has ever mustered. Let's not forget Denny's "football knee" kept him out of VietNam, while Murza was highly decorated in combat in Southeast Asia.

Also today, after a near-defeat on the budget bill, Hastert took a moment to stab at House Democrats in another fine example of his demagogic style:
    “Unfortunately, my colleagues on the other side of the aisle disagree. In fact, this bill gives us a pretty clear picture of what they are for. They are for raising taxes writing blank checks creating bigger government and saddling our children with mountains of debt. By opposing this bill, they are for disrupting America’s economic stability – the same stability that has given our workers jobs and paychecks to care for their families.

    “Theirs is the wrong solution for America."
Denny: We've had enough of your "coaching" skills. And this is your style, no doubt. As a "coach," you're the kind of dirty, lowdown sonofabitch who would embarrass Bobby Knight.

Deleto Alito.

Not part of the House's responsibility, sure. But if you need a good reason to remove his name from the bidding, aside from the anti-affirmative action, anti-choice views he holds, try this on for size.

He's an alien.

Swear to God, if he twitches his head and says, "Jenny," I'll fill my shorts.

The Pig at the Trough.

This is the kind of stuff that has made me so sick and God-Damned tired of Denny Hastert.

There are so many questions that I could throw out, but underneath it all is the really big one:

If campaign finance has not been turned into a grand, "legalized" form of money-laundering, why in the world does a guy like Denny Hastert, who wins 3:1 in his safe district, need a $100,000 donation from a crooked, smarmy little bastard like Jack Abramoff.

OK. That's a really loaded "single" question, but you just can't distill one issue from all Denny Hastert's crooked dealings.

And the really amazing part: He won't even answer the charges. And as I continue to point out, his answer to everything is, "Hey, I'm out of the loop."

Crash and Burn.

You could also say that there's an excrement storm that's raining down on Denny right now.

Couldn't happen to a nicer fellow.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Here's a sample of Denny the Blooger's bog that has millions of readers absolutely magnetized this week:
    House Happenings This Week
    posted by Denny Hastert @ 9:19am (11/2/05) | Section: Speaker’s Posts

    Hi to all you out there.

    Welcome back to my blog. I hope everyone had a safe Halloween. And I would like to offer my condolences again to the family of Rosa Parks. She gave a lot to our nation and her legacy lives on.

    There has been a lot going on since I last checked in. Democrats are busy saying no to every proposal out there. Those of us in the House GOP are busy in another way. We’re passing legislation. We’re getting work done.

    Today we’re taking up the Online Freedom of Speech Act. It’s a good bill. Republicans and Democrats in the House and Senate are supporting it.

Among the four posts there (that's the total since it went up), two are supposedly entered by Hastert.

This is Funny.

Denny the Blogger.

These guys can't stop lying about anything, can they?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Cutting and Running from New Orleans

Happy Thanksgiving, you poor, miserable bastards! We're not paying for your hotel rooms anymore! Get out!

I got yer two-week notice right here, baby.

So says FEMA, in announcing they're cutting one of the few programs they've actually cost-tracked in the wake of Katrina.

And a relatively inexpensive one, at that. If you consider that FEMA has spent about $278 million to house families in hotels since the end of August, that means every man, woman and child in the U.S. has pitched in about a buck for that worthy effort so far.

Compare that to the billions upon billions of dollars that are unaccounted for through sweetheart no-bid contracts, and much of the money that's flowed into the Gulf Coast region so far, and it's pretty clear where this government's priorities are.

And Denny Hastert has absolutely nothing to say about it.

So is it a parallel set of priorities that we haven't figured out yet -- another sick strategy? Or is it more like you don't have the political nerve (or capital) to stand up?

Or is it that you really don't care?

Which is it, Denny?

Hastert on "Cut and Run" Government:

"We can't allow the terrorists to shake our resolve," Hastert says in one way or another (in one riveting press release or another).

So we can't "cut and run" from Iraq, goes the so-called reasoning.

But when it comes to FEMA's abandonment of a far less expensive proposition, such as providing housing for the whole communities the President and Fristy-Hastert have left behind in the wake of Katrina, he says nothing.

Here's a tip: stop using these jingoistic phrases (which, by the way, no longer "resonate" in the voter's head the way you intend) and start doing something that follows common sense.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Denny and Jean Hastert

Appear to have had sex only two times during their combined 120+ years on earth. One time was code-named Josh, the other, Ethan.

Think about it. The "Speaker's" absence from the discussion of the FDA's handy decision on the "Plan B" drugs clearly bears that out.

What these people want is for everything right down to your basic sexual act to follow the letter of Jerry Falwell's Holy Bible, where sex is an act God intended to be used only for procreation.

I'm sorry. Is that too personal? Too intrusive?

Wonder how you'd feel if I was the Federal Government making such a statement?

Jesus, I'm Essential.

Inside Dope may have only changed the headings on the blogroll, maybe done some consolidation, but I never noticed this before today: I'm listed at the top of the "Essential Sites.

Holy Crap! Thanks, Dope!

I've never been "essential" before. I'm going to enjoy a beverage now. I may even pay for it.


I love to tease. At some point this week, I'll be adding something to the site of national importance. I had hoped to unwrap it on the 1st of November, then it was the 15th...

And while I would like to stay focused on IL CD-14 (it is, primarily), it will have national implications.

All I can say is that at some point this week, I'm going to start something that's going to turn a lot of heads at the national level.

Get ready. And Helloooo! To all my friends at visiting the blog this week!


Hastert Slams Pelosi, Democrats on Innovation

Call him the Anti-Innovation, Anti-Technology Speaker.

Nancy Pelosi unveils a plan for putting government squarely behind innovation and technology by providing broadband "no more than a keystroke or a mouse click away from the jobs and opportunity broadband both creates and supports," and gets slammed by Hastert.

Funny, when George W. Bush announced a more expensive plan in April 2004, Denny Hastert was mum. The following week, he OK'd Bush's $50 Billion request for military expenditures in Iraq.

Honestly now. Isn't that tired old "tax and spend" saw getting just a little worn out?

Denny Hastert has taxed and spent the middle class of this country into a future of ruin, piling up a national debt that will be well beyond $10 trillion by the time he and George W. Bush are out of office.

McCain Has a Sense of Humor.

The link to the Daily Show clip is very funny.

I'm no McCain fan, though, for one simple reason.

When he had a chance to stand up for America and help kick George W. Bush's ass out of the White House, he chose the Republican Party and his possible future over Americans.

I have nothing but pure respect for the man who endured torture at the hands of the VC. I like his sense of humor.

I will vilify him if he runs for President. I hope you'll join me.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Denny Hastert's America

A popular theme, I know. This investigative report documents Halliburton's legalized hiring of undocumented Latinos they are alleged to have fed only one meal a day, later not paid, then thrown out to fend for themselves.

The investigative piece notes that Bush re-instated the Davis-Bacon act on 11/3.

Some of us are wondering, however, how Denny Hastert's multi-million dollar press operation failed to ever voice a single word of the slightest discomfort on the part of the Speaker when the President of the United States suspended laws that protect workers, and by decree.

Here are two nice parts to consider (the subscription is worth it for the rest):
    Halliburton/KBR is the general contractor with overarching responsibility for the federal cleanup contracts covering Katrina-damaged naval bases. Even so, there is an utter lack of transparency with the process -- and that invites malfeasance, says James Hale, a vice president of the Laborers' International Union of North America. "To my knowledge, not one member of Congress has been able to get their hands on a copy of a contract that was handed out to Halliburton or others," Hale says. "There is no central registry of Katrina contracts available. No data on the jobs or scope of the work." Hale says that his union's legislative staff has pressed members of Congress for more information; apparently the legislators were told that they could not get copies of the contracts because of "national security" concerns.
    "They were going to pay seven dollars an hour, and the food was going to be free, and rent, but they gave us nothing," says the thin Zapotec teenager. Simitrio spent nearly a month at the Seabee base. "They weren't feeding us. We ate cookies for five days. Cookies, nothing else," he says.
Nice oversight, Denny.

What "national security issues" prevent disclosure of this information?

Poll Analysis.

This is so funny, I can't stand it!

IL CD-14 voters, however, will have the last laugh! They'll vote for Denny Hastert because they believe he's honest, believable, and thinks for himself!

Guess again.

Denny Hastert has become such an ugly politcal animal over the past two decades he's been accepting his Welfare Check, no one in IL CD-14 really knows him anymore.

Can You Spot Hastert's Weakness?

See if you can spot in his voting record one single little, eensie-weensie tiny vote that shows Denny's Gigantic Weakness.

I can't even hint, it's so obvious.

OK. There are really, like, five issues, that show what an idiot he is, but one looms large.

One issue. Come on.

Hastert's "buddy" Jerry Weller.

So, he's not only married into a mob family, it's a marriage of convenience, many say. Denny Hastert's reliable vote, Jerry Weller, says Karie at Kankakee Voices is just "obsessed with (his) wife."

Sure. Obsessed with your wife.

Everyone in Illinois should be obsessed with this man's choices, and his ability to vote in the House of Representatives - with no compunction, mind you - on matters that concern our government's trade with that of his wife.

Why does Denny Hastert encourage this behavior?

Denny Hastert's America

More broken promises for America's seniors; Clusterfuck D enrollment begins today.

If anyone could have possibly given seniors a more confusing set of "choices" disguised as a benefit, I don't know how it could possibly get any worse than the total Clusterfuck (D) we've been given.

Then again, I'm not counting on any government benefits being around when I'm old and eating cat food in the back of a God-Damned trailer retired. How anyone in the Republican party can hold their heads up after swindling taxpayers and robbing the Federal Treasury under the guise of "helping seniors" is beyond me.

Perhaps a day will come when the signs on all the roads entering Kendall County will lionize Denny Hastert as the man responsible for giving us "Medicare Part D."

Perhaps instead of the bland "Home of the Speaker of the House," they'll tout Kendall County as the "Home of the Disgraced, Lying Sonofabitch Who Cost Taxpayers Trillions of Dollars That We'll Never Pay Off."

I doubt it.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Hastert's Nod and a Winkel.

I mean really. What the Hell is Denny Hastert thinking?

(Via Karie at Kankakee Voices.)

Denny Hastert gave us Jim "I'm terrified of Hispanic people" Oberweis. Then he endorsed the wrong county treasurer candidate in his home county! Then he couldn't remember Jim "I have nothing to do with the dairy" Oberweis. Then he wanted to axe Peter Fitzgerald.

Then he was out of town when Alan Keyes came to Illinois...

I mean really, Denny.

The New Marketing Message.

Veterans Day, on which we commemorate the honor and sacrifice of our fathers and uncles, brothers and cousins, grandfathers and great-uncles; a day set aside to ponder the waste and uselessness of bloody conflict, and the inherent cruelties committed by man against man; a day formally proclaimed a federal holiday in only 1954 by one of the greatest heroes of our Republic, Dwight D. Eisenhower, is now used to deliver a new, disgusting, marketing message for a miserably failed president in a cynical act of desperation.
    "It is deeply irresponsible to rewrite the history of how the war began,'' Bush said in a Veterans Day speech today to military families at Tobyhanna Army Depot near Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. ``More than 100 Democrats in the House and Senate who had access to the same intelligence voted to remove Saddam Hussein from power,'' the president said."
It's all there. Change the message again. Demonize the Democrats. Lie about what they actually voted on.

When does this freak show end?

Write Your Own Caption.

I don't know about you, but I'm still humming Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" after seeing Condi waving to her adoring fans at the Baghdad airport!

Oh! I'm out of breath!

I'm wondering what kind of captions you all would write for this photo.

Have at it.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Pat Robertson - Denny Hastert Connection

If anyone could be a bigger asshole than Hastert is a stroke, it would have to be Radical Fundamentalist Cleric Pat Robertson, PRMAAI*.

So we ask you tonight, Denny: Do you believe in "intelligent design" and do you want it taught in the schools in IL CD-14, or not?

Just answer the question for a change.

*President, Radical Moralistic Assholes of America, Inc.

New Bush Poll: Another Record!

Waterboy Denny Hastert's Coach, George W. Bush is at another record low... with a 36% approval rating.

And that's the Fox Poll.

Gee. You'd think that anyone with leadership potential might recognize a problem here. Finally. And move on.

From the looks of the House Republicans' inability to pass a budget today, I think plenty of the Waterboy's cohorts already have.

When will Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert get it?

Denny Hastert's Finances: Questions to Ponder.

Ponder, if you will, the following.

Denny Hastert received $549,900 for the sale of his Yorkville property in 2002. That's quite a bit less than the $849,900 asking price. Why would he settle for so much less (within 15% is considered OK, but really?)?

The developer who purchased it bought it for a storm water drainage project. The property now has a new owner/inhabitant.

When he purchased the 192-acre Plano estate, the real estate transaction was not run in the local newspaper. Why not?

The rumor is that the property sold for $2.2 million, but the Speaker's speakers were mum on the matter. Why?

Who financed the sale?

Was it financed, or was it paid for in cash?

Was there cash involved in the transaction?

Whose name appears on the title?

Where is this information in Hastert's annual financial disclosures?

This is all just public information, no?

Horrifying! A Look into Hastert's Dark Soul.

Here's a good one: Hastert defends Bush-Fristy-Hastert broken record in Bush country.

Best line from the leader of the "Aw, shucks! I hate government" crowd:
    ""Between you and me, it's a pleasure to get a break from Washington, D.C.," he told the crowd."
Yeah. I'll bet.

Thanks to reader B. for the link. And keep those emails coming, folks.

Brownie Finally Off the Public Dole.

CNN reports this morning that failed former FEMA head, Mike Brown, is finally off the federal payroll after his two month stint as a "consultant" has run out.

Brown's $148,000 annual salary and benefits never stopped, even though he resigned under a maelstrom of public outrage over his handling of Hurrican Katrina relief.

While Denny Hastert and his wrecking crew are searching for $Billions$ of your money to cut from federal programs that help the poor, elderly and the uninsured, they might consider the tab run up under Brown.

Let's start with the $100 Million in ice shipments that never made it anywhere.

And don't forget the billions in no-bid contracts that employ only a small percentage of local workers, and just above minimum wage. Who cares about the $1.2 billion no-bids recalled?

What we could use here is a new branch of government... One that maybe could provide some sort of, what's the word... Oversight.

Here's to the Moderates.

Three cheers for moderation. And 25 moderate Republicans in the House who have threatened to scuttle Denny Hastert's lust for George W. Bush's radical energy and economic agenda.

Notice the article does not mention the name of a single Democrat on the committee.

Along with all his Democrat-bashing invective, which drones on about how Democrats are difficult and have no plan (yawn...), Hastert and his committe chairs have effectively locked out Democrats from any discussion of any issue. Hastert's declaration last November leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

With 25 defectors in his midst, I wonder what Hastert will do now? Wait for Ken Mehlman's call? Bush's?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Denny Flippity Hastert Floppity. Flop. Flop.

Interesting that Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is begging for print and air time now that he's under the gun to do something about the cost of energy. You know, that thingie that threatens to bankrupt families this winter?

Hastert and his team were way beyond generous in plugging the energy bill this past spring, which offered up $Billions$ of your money to Big Oil in tax breaks and land deals for building refineries.

Or how about the way Hastert's Congress responded to the leap in gas prices after Katrina, by giving Big Oil federal insurance for projects legitimately stalled by lawsuits or regulatory delays?

Also, note Hastert's continued push for new refineries. Personally, I think a beautiful oil refinery would look smashing on the land just north of the Plano Super Wal-Mart. Across the road from Hastert's lovely wooded estate.

Forget the EPA regulations. Let them pollute the ground water up there. Who cares? We need gas for Denny's Avalanche!

Make no mistake about it: Hastert is beginning to smell his own blood in the pool now. But there's no way out of the mess he's created.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Speaker Hastert: Why Isn't This Man in Jail?

First was the deliberate leak of the LA FEMA head's astonishment at the odd focus "Brownie's" advance people had on his dinner hour.

Now, this.

Great Jesus Jumpin' Jehosephat!


Why was he allowed to resign instead of being fired and stripped of his very dignity?

Why haven't you exercised some leadership and asked for this man's arrest for his complacency and incompetence?

Making the Hard Decisions

President Chauncey Gardener has long made it clear that it's "hard work bein' Preznit." And he's long talked about making the difficult decisions -- hard decisions -- like going to war in Iraq, slashing the federal budget, piling up debt.

Denny Hastert spends much of his time advocating these "hard decisions" (although it's unclear if he really understands what he's saying on behalf of so many others at this point). This, after all, is a man who takes great pride in the sports analogy and his "Coach" image, while his real job, it's clear, is being waterboy for corporate interests that stand to crush the middle class in the near term. His "coaching" is more like note-taking as he fetches coffee and sandwich orders for the powerful.

You and I are supposed to believe that it's very difficult to make those choices; to have to weigh the good and the bad and come up with this five-year string of devastatingly stupid maneuvers. Nothing could be further from reality.

It's a joke. And the joke's been on us.

It's easy to send someone else's kids, fathers and mothers to war. Hell, we rolled over Iraq in days. It's a God-Damned third-world country. We knew that would happen. We didn't think about the really hard thing; what to do after we got there.

It's easy to eliminate Amtrak funding from the budget when you know no one who depends on it for commuting, for family emergencies, for sheer economy of service. Privatizing the railways will make it less expensive, we're told. Competition among railway carriers, the railway barons tell us, is hard work, but good for consumers.

It's easy to eliminate funding for a levee system that will require hundreds of millions to repair and upgrade. Local governments should pay for those things, right? That's not hard to cook up. Send the money to Iraq, where you're getting your ass shot off, instead. That's easy. The result is that we'll spend a thousand times that to rebuild the levee system and New Orleans and the surrounding cities that were under fetid waters for weeks.

It's easy to send your benefactors their investment -- plus a fat return -- in the form of a permanent tax cut. They asked you for it and you deliver it. Your party makes all of the decisions. Fuck the poor. See how easy that was?

And if Fristy Hastert doesn't give you what you want? It's easy to sign an executive order rescinding a worker's right to a decent wage.

Mario Cuomo called it the night before the election in 2000, on Larry King:
    "...But the loser here, if Bush wins, in my opinion, very objectively, will be the United States of America, because the first thing that will happen is you'll have an all-Republican government for the first time since Eisenhower. And it'll be much worse than the Republicans of the Eisenhower era, because they're conservatives. And Trent Lott and Dennis Hastert are not going to let Mr. Bush be a compassionate conservative. They are what they are, very conservative. They'll bring back the Gingrich agenda, which Clinton vetoed. They'll pass a $1.3 trillion tax cut against a phony surplus, because there is no $4.6 trillion, and Kasich knows it."
See? That's not hard at all.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Hastert Strikes Out in Red State Indiana.

Strange, but true.

Denny Hastert's being called for his hypocrisy in the heart of Indiana, at the Anderson Herald Bulletin.

Apparently, even those really Red Hoosiers aren't going to let Fristy Hastert get away with their special blend of tax cuts and reckless spending.

I'm really tempted, but I will not publish another chorus of a state song today.

Here comes the headline, though: "Indiana Fires Another Coach."

Denny: Call Omar.

Omar the tentmaker is about to get some business, because Denny Hastert is going to need something mighty big to cover his ass, now that the shit has started to rain down on his skinny little brother, Fristy.

Fristy was just choking on his heart a minute ago in front of the camera. In one breath, he stated that Reid's action in taking the Senate behind closed doors to discuss Plamegate and its relationship to the Iraq invasion was appropriate and "in accordance with the Senate rules." Then, apoplexy set in as he called in "inappropriate," "a stunt," a "dirty trick," and a "personal affront."

Oh, my.

Watch for two things to happen: Fristy is going to declare Martial Law in the Senate by invoking the Nuclear Option and denying Democrats the filibuster.

House Democrats are going to start pissing on somebody else's legs for a change.

Hey, Denny: You and your skinny little brother fucked us on energy, bankruptcy, environment, threat of tax reform and the dissolution of Social Security. Get ready to get yourself fucked right back. Now we're going to start using the rules to move a meaningful agenda.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Tolerating this guy's talk of science is kind of like listening to Denny Hastert talk about... well, anything.

Borrrr-ing. Unbeleeeeev-able.

It's pretty certain he had no idea what he was reading, from all the fumbled lines, twisted expressions, and his near smile and trademark smirk during the applause points.

At any rate, all of this is a little late, and little more expensive now, isn't it?

If only our government had a branch of publicly elected officials from different regions of every state... "Representatives," we might call them... to come together maybe 2/3 of the year to work on such issues...

Maybe then it wouldn't all be left to one moron to govern and protect us.

Our Finest.

Without the names of those who were killed during the last few days of October, I've counted 72 men and women from Illinois killed in Iraq since we invaded in March, 2003.

Since Denny Hastert's Congress allows the Pentagon to shuffle the wounded like peas in a shell game, those numbers are not known, nor are the true numbers likely to ever be known.
    ...Not without thy wondrous story, Illinois, Illinois,
    Can be writ the nation's glory, Illinois, Illinois,
    On the record of thy years,
    Abraham Lincoln's name appears, Grant and Logan, and our tears, Illinois, Illinois,
    Grant and Logan, and our tears, Illinois.
Tell me about the noble cause of freedom again.

You Say Alito, I Say Elite-o...

George W. Bush has completely eliminated the Republican ability to use the term "Liberal Elite" with this nomination.

Why is that? Because what he has done over the past five years has created a new permanent establishment in Washington, D.C. that is likely to take Democrats a generation to correct.

From career public service employees (at all levels) at State, Justice and EPA who elected to walk away from the malevolence and incompetence they were subjected to in the workplace, and now the Supreme Court, George W. Bush has successfully left the mark of his utterly fear-driven Elitist administration on America.

This is when Denny Hastert shows his true stripes. His multi million-dollar press operation has been mum since Ron Bonjean posted his "Why I Hate the Media" on the Speaker's Urinal last Friday.

Hastert says nothing. And "The Coach's" silence is very telling.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Last, Last-Minute Costume Ideas...

If you've stayed in tonight (and who would blame you, with such nasty Halloween weather as we're having in Chicagoland) because you didn't plan far enough ahead to get a costume, or if you planned on going as Denny Hastert but found a 300-lb fat suit would break your costume budget, here are some suggestions for costumes that will make you every bit as ghoulish as Scooter Libby. And they're all done with items you have around the house!
George W. Bush. Just paint an "L" on your forehead. Grin and chortle a lot. And walk like a monkey.
Laura Bush Costume. You'll need a broom handle for this one. You'll know what to do with it. If not, you could either stick it somewhere or have someone beat you senseless with it.
Michael Chertoff. Men only; you'll need to shave your ass down to stubble and then walk backwards.
Ken Mehlman. Men or women; think Hillary Swank.
Run-of-the-Mill Republican. Just sneak around to your neighbor's bedroom window and peer in. Tomorrow, rail about their indecency and immorality.
A Televangelist. My own all-time favorite. Everyone has an ill-fitting polyester blend suit around (men and women both can enjoy this one!). Make your hair big and slick it up. Next, clutch a Bible in one hand and prepare to emphasize your point with the other. Get in the faces of your neighbors, and speak liberally (no puns here!) in stark, black and white terms about right and wrong, good and evil, etc. Then present the neighbors with a petition to elect someone in the next primary. That should scare the Hell out of 'em!

Poverty on the Rise

Illinois Times has a great piece on poverty in the Land of Lincoln.

Also linked--with lowlights posted--at SoapbloxChicago, by Karie.

Note to Ron Bonjean:

For the next press release alarm that comes up in your planner:
Write something about issues that matter. And while you're at it, tell your webmaster to get rid of that stupid, God-Damned countdown on the Speaker's start page. I'm working on my own: "10 - Number of stalls in the garage Denny built on his property to house some of his antique car collection..."

For the next blog entry alarm that pops up in said planner:
Write something that at least makes it sound like the Speaker isn't a dopey old fart. Nearly impossible, I know, but nobody's buying the homespun old coach thing anymore.

And while you're still trying to strip off the shellacking that you got when you were mouthing for Trent Lott, remember that you're not supposed to show what an ugly political animal J. Dennis really is.

Thanks for your attention.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Why Does Dennis Hastert Hate Working Families?

Given the hot, urgent legislative agenda that Denny Hastert is attempting to shove through the House on behalf of George W. Bush -- with permanent tax cuts for wealthy Americans and corporations at the top of the Christmas list -- it does not go without notice that the Speaker has absolutely nothing to say about protecting the pensions and retirement dreams of working Americans.

You know, the backbone thingee of our society? The middle class? Remember those poor, miserable bastards who live from one payday to the next, Denny? Remember way back when you were one?

Scratch that: we know you never had to worry about that.

It is not hard to ask this very pointed question, given the rest of the agenda Hastert and Frist will be pimping for the remainder of their political careers:
    • Destroying Social Security for everyone under 50
    • Converting Social Security as a form of poverty insurance into a risky investment scheme worthy of the Junk Bond Traders Hall of Fame
    • Derailing passenger rail service by eliminating Amtrak funding
    • Paving the way for an oil-centric energy policy for another generation
    • Giving permanent tax cuts to people who don't need it, and don't demonstrate that they're doing anything to ensure our societal improvement with what the receive in their welfare payoff.
We live in an amazing time, when our leaders have been able to convince others that sharp-elbowed, unrelenting assholes, and unindicted torture co-conspirators are diplomats -- statesmen at the right hand of our President.

Where there is a bizarre fascination and fear of sodomy and gay people, but at every turn the government is sodomizing average people who are just trying to make a living.

Where Hooverian policies that failed miserably and sucked our economy into grave depression, and McCarthyism that wielded the ugly spectre of fear of the unknown and political hackery like a hammer on anyone that got in its way, have resurfaced, bearing the laurel wreath of victory.

Where Denny Hastert's call to Big Oil to start producing more domestic oil and to stop our dependence on foreign energy sources (while sounding like a call to help Americans) is nothing more than a shill for Big Oil that will pave the way for more destruction of peerless public lands and undisturbed paradises for drilling and refinery development that won't pay off for consumers for years (if ever).

Why does Denny Hastert hold onto these twisted views of reality? Why is he so eager to bury the greatest society on earth by destroying the middle class?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Friday Night Predictions

George W. Bush, with a history of heart problems, will drop dead at some point during the trial phase of the CIA leak probe (which we now know will take many months), in order to protect President Dick Cheney. The combination of the years of drug abuse and alcoholism, and the added stress will simply prove too much for his fragile system. The beauty of this Rovian strategy, of course, is that it will take the focus off President Cheney's gross misdeeds, and Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will no longer be the top news story every night for the next two years.

Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will ultimately plead guilty and cooperate with Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, which will nearly coincide with his appointment by Former Next President Al Gore to the post of U.S. Attorney General.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert will also drop dead, likely the result of some bizarre electrocution during a blogging session.

Tom DeLay will come out of the closet and claim the mantel of the fallen Speaker (which he is, in reality, already). DeLay will then spend the next 2-4 years getting boned up the ass every night in the news, just the kind of fitting treatment one would expect of a pius little cocksucker like DeLay.

Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will do serious time, even after cooperating with the prosecution, and seriously earn his nickname.

President Cheney will declare martial law and dissolve Congress's Constitutional powers of oversight.

Forget that last part. That's already been voluntarily given up.

President Cheney will pardon himself and all others in Traitorgate before leaving office after his fourth secret heart transplant.

Karl Rove will one day step on his dick, and it will matter to someone other than Jeff Gannon.

The Queen of All Iraq, Judith Miller, will (true to predictions from her former NYT colleagues) spend the next 35-50 years on "book leave" from the newspaper.