Friday, October 06, 2006

Meat Head.

This is the face of a man who would stoop to accusing the boogeyman (or Bill Clinton or maybe even George Soros -- whoever's name is within reach of his overreaching imagination at the moment) of creating all the problems of the world.

This, my friends, is my Friday Night Cock Picture.

For pictured above is the Biggest Prick I've seen in a long time.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

What An Asshole.

The Preznent is on live television at this moment shilling, once again, his most famous unfunded mandate, Every Public School System Left Behind.

The very thought that an avowed lifetime "C" student has crafted a plan to rate and punish the public school system designed and stewarded by Democrats for generations is laughable.

Further, that his lazyspeak (ie "we gotta..." "allahs us tuh get tuh thuh root uh thuh problum..." and so on) points to "those of us in Washintun not soffnin" on the measure as the primary responsibility of government should tell you everything you need to know about this Major League Asshole In Chief who heads a party overrun with unmitigated, cretinous misanthropes.

The primary goal of our Democracy, in case any of you have forgotten, is to ensure that every person in this country has the same opportunities as the next person. Meaning fund the public school system, you fucking asshole.

That Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert, one-half of a pensioned, retired teacher household that will retire comfortably on two teacher pensions, continues to subscribe to this nonsense is another untouched, unprobed measure of John Laesch's failed campaign.

Hint to the Lashies: you pussies can use the issue if you so choose. Oh, yes... tell us what you would do for a fucking change, too.

Laesch Scores Big On Hastert Scandal.

Well, not really.

I'm home this morning cleaning the chunky vomit stains out of my livingroom rugs after spewing my dinner during last night's Hardball appearance by the boy who would be Denny.

Besides being a terrible interview, I was not in vomitas over the sight of the pisher king. No, it was the boy trying to compete with Tweety for wordspace; it was the petulant pursed lips who thought he was there to compete with the man who is known for cutting off his guests after a word or two; it was the untrained non-answers that any decent candidate would have had dripping without tripping at this point on the campaign trail.

I'll give you my take on both sides of this issue. Number one, I'm with The Chicagoist on this one. Hastert's holding a press conference momentarily, and the netgoons are spinning that it's over for the fat man. But this is a guy who has taken the point position for the GOP Mouthpieces blaming Clinton, George Soros, and any other boogeyman in the tired, pathetic GOP trick bag. I don't see a resignation on the horizon. And I don't see anything less than a 60/40 win for Hastert on November 7.

As for Laesch, if I am wrong he will prove to be the luckiest man on earth. I will pay an investigator to search for the 666 on his scalp. This candidate has done nothing positive, has not offered a single cogent solution to anything going on anywhere under the sun.

John Laesch is a unibrowed two-faced liar who made it a practice to get riproaring drunk and beat up strippers in his salad days. And those days are over. His first order of business as a candidate was to sever the head of any decent Democrat who stood in his way, while abandoning any notion that he may need those same people somewhere down the road.

I'm reminded of a someone's passage just the other day while writing about Mark Foley's sins: "in vino veritas." In wine, there is truth.

There you go. Buy this kid a drink or two and watch the truth come out. Voters in IL CD14 don't have much of a choice right now. Thanks, kid.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Because He's Not A Pedophile.

The frantic state of the Republican party is fast becoming the culmination of their own clusterfuck of policies and lies.

Yesterday's announcement by Mark Foley's attorney that the disgraced former congressman is an alcoholic who was accosted by a member of the clergy at a young age, and is not a pedophile is not only the latest example of the shameful practices of Republicans. It's laughable.

Remember: Mark Foley didn't ask 16 year-old boys to measure their penises, and engage in "internet sex" before voting on laws on the House floor because he's a pedophile.

He's just a homosexual alcoholic and we should feel sorry for him.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Hastert: Foley Outing Suspicious.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert tells Slanthead the timing of Mark Foley's outing as an alleged child smells like a dirty trick.

Interesting to not that Hannity now has "tiny stars" ad flashing on the bottom of his home page.

Oh, yes. And that he runs an internet dating service from his website for "like-minded conservatives."

Hmmm. Looks fishy to me.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Ooo, Baby, It's A Wild World.

While disgraced former congressman Mark Foley was hoping today that someone -- anyone -- would buy the alcoholic excuse for asking 16 year-old boys to measure their penises, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert was stepping on his.

Hastert's letter to the FBI asking for an investigation into Foley's alleged predatory practices focuses on a specific request to investigate those outside his leadership circle, in particular members of the press.


Will Lashy Boy capitalize on this? Hard telling. Laesch appeared on the Big Ed Schultz Show today, but still sounded like a pisher.

Of course, Hastert's inner circle went with the FBI investigation so they could claim during the final weeks of the mid-term election that they can't comment on a matter under investigation.

So tripped up is Hastert that he has told numerous (nearly unintelligible) stories at this point.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Here's How You Do It, Stupid.

Three cheers to the Laesch campaign for:
a) planning a Saturday press conference to "take on" Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert on the Republican Hypocritical Cocksucker issue du jour.
b) having your girlfriend/campaign manager send out a late-night email asking attendees to wear their purple Laesch t-shirts, but only if they're going to attend (people with questions were told to not wear their campaign garb, thus making them look like maybe they likely attended over the furor).
c) not scoring a single fucking hit in the Sunday press. Because you're barely intelligent enough to remember to draw breath.

Here's how it goes, for those of you who have taken in $100,000 in campaign contributions and still don't have a clue how the world works.

Saturday press conferences are a waste of time. Would you walk your precinct during college football? Have a Sunday press conference ahead of the Bears game, hoping to make it into Monday's paper?

Nope. Unless you're a unibrow moron who thinks God told you to run for office, and you feel invincible every morning when you wake up in a delusional fog from the floor of your campaign office.

Lay low, stupids. Wait for the Sunday papers to hit, then trap them in their ongoing series of lies and obfuscation. Today's New York Times, for instance, contains plenty of information that Denny knew about this a year ago. Now he says he doesn't recall, but isn't willing to state for the record that the Republican member of Congress who personally informed The Speaker did or didn't bring it up, no matter what the matter seemed to be at the time.

Don't overtly or covertly participate in press conference packing that sends a signal that your support is not genuine.

And don't be surprised that in the voluminous weekend coverage of the scandal that your name is not mentioned. Not even once. Because you have no fucking idea how the world works, you stupid pishers.

I dunno about you, but I'm going to the Bears game and hoping this idiot goes away again.

Jesus H. Christ at a tailgater.