Like Pastors at the Whorehouse.

While I've also been working on this story with a Kendall angle (and there's little info to be found, since the county treats public information like the White House once treated classified documents), I don't think there's been anything better done that what my good friend, Karie, has posted at SoapBlox/Chicago.

An excellent post.

Follow some of the links to see how well she's researched this, and tell me you're not outraged that your tax dollars are being used like a pastor who takes your money from the collection plate to visit a whorehouse. This is even worse; it's like paying the pastor and the church elders to bring whores into the church.

What's more, it's a new form of taxation that is closely related to money-laundering, graft, and various other felonies.

Ted Turner: The Big Story Today.

Ted Turner's departure from the Time Warner board of directors does not signal the end of the genius who gave us cable broadcast news.

I met Turner many years ago when CNN was relatively new, and many viewers still had their doubts about a network that started its programming at five minutes past the hour, the cost-effectiveness of having news programming going on around the clock, and a news company chairman who had a mouth as big as the South.

It was a brief introduction in the kitchen of a prominent D.C. figure's home, very informal, and Turner then had the reputation of being a very conservative voice.

He was absolutely charming. A genuine Southern gentleman with everyone in the room (apparently his lithium was working that day). I did not know until years later that he was bipolar and had all kinds of issues. What I took away from the brief moment in time was the fact that very conservative and very liberal people can be genuine with one another, can be warm, engage in conversation about things that matter.

The political climate was changing then (this was in Reagan's hey-day), and it gave me hope that the worst of the "Us vs. Them" was behind us. That was not to be.

Ted Turner's best years may lie ahead. His philanthropic, and other ventures, are a remarkable testament of this unique and true man.

Indeed, he will undoubtedly be seen as a mercurial figure until the day he leaves us.

Well, There You Go.

Secret Service says Cheney was drunk at time of shooting. Bodyguards assisted in coverup, collected evidence at hospital.

This story is not going away. And it's not the fault of the media. The Guardian has more.

Hastert's family member is arrested, but the police work is intentionally screwed up -- under someone else's direction -- so the case is thrown out and there is no DUI.

Why is it always different for everyone other than Republicans? In either case, you or I would have gone to jail.

Freedom Is On The March.

Here's a thought for Heavy D and the Boyz. How long are gonna keep fucking around with this before we have things completely broken over there, without the ability to even help?

Reminds me of a funny joke.

God takes his son out golfing on Sunday afternoon. On the first tee, God is looking out over the green, getting ready to take his shot when an eagle swoops down and grabs the ball.

The eagle soars off in flight, whereupon God darkens the skies at once, raises his arm and points at the eagle, waits a moment, then at his command sets off a charge of lightning that strikes the eagle from the sky. As this happens and feathers flutter down everywhere, the golf ball drops from high above directly into the cup.

Seeing this, Jesus simply rolls his eyes and speaks up.

"So, Dad... You gonna fuck around all day or are you gonna play some golf?"

A minister told me that joke. No kidding. Isn't that great?

Interesting Reading.

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Among the 17 Lessons Learned.

Fran Townsend, whose stunning performance (isn't she just gorgeous?) in front of the camera this morning could be summed up with the missing 18th Lesson.

Before I mention that, however, I wonder if the jewels in her little jeweled flag pin are real. If anyone knows, let me know what that would cost. That's a good image to portray, btw. Put a great-looking rich woman in a highly paid, newly created executive branch government position in front of the camera with sparkly jewelry and stunning clothes. I can just smell her perfume throught the TV set, actually. I think it's Emeraude, my grammy's favorite.

It's especially good to have someone like that explaining why government has abandoned it citizens on the Gulf Coast who are living in squalor and sleeping in their cars as a result of her boss's total detachment from reality.

I was perplexed when Franny said that "one thing government does well is red tape." Even when these people are digging themselves out of a hole, the just dig deeper down. They just can't stop bashing government.

And therein lies the 18th Lesson Learned. Americans can no longer trust this crew to do anything right for a government of the people, by the people and for the people. These "Republicans" just don't believe in government and its proper role in society.

Three Ideas for the Democratic Party.

Dear Leaders... Ahem. Dear Rahm, et al.

Please take this advice. Stop fucking around in elections where we already have good candidates (see Cegelis and Scott, for one), and take a few notes. Hire Sid Blumenthal to start penning memos again. And focus on the future. Here are the three points that are key to Democratic Party success.

First, question power. That's right. You've helped the rest of us Democrats remain powerless in the last three election cycles now with your impotence. Thanks, by the way.

The power amassed by this White House is unprecedented. And what's more alarming is the fact that at every turn this administration has proved itself utterly incompetent from the top down. I believe in the business world, where the genius of Cheney-Bush was culled, this is called, um... bankrupt.

This White House has complete control over government, so the very notion that they might label Democrats as "obstructionists" is only doing you a favor. Number one, it's not true. You've been stripped of power, and thus, much of the nation is powerless. Number two, it shows you what contempt these so-called Republicans have for the Constitution. What has occurred in our federal government since 9/11/01 has not taken place to protect us; Republicans are wrapped up in a naked pursuit of permanent power. Period.

Second, question security. Sure. You're the party we're going to look to to protect us from now on. Because the Republican Party has completely fucked us in the ass. In the Bible, they called that "Sodomy." In Kendall County, the Home of Speaker of the House Denny "J. Denny" Hastert, they call that getting fucked in the ass.

The TSA has been allowing me to carry aluminum and pressurized containers on board which must look like mace (it's hair spray). This fact escaped me until I saw the re-enactment of Flight 77 on the History Channel the other night (where mace was used to disable the 1st class passengers). And now I can walk on any flight with a pair of razor-sharp scissors worn in my hair, in a pocket, or behind my ear. This is insanity.

Last, question our economy. It is most certainly the product of the incompetence that is the Gingrich-Hastert crew.

By the time Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert and George W. Bush leave office (if they both leave voluntarily in 2009) we will be $13 Trillion in debt. This is insanity. The consumer-based economy, based almost entirely on the success of the retail and housing sectors, has created an untenable situation for the average American family, which is still working at 1989 wages.

None of these things are Democratic values. None of these things are good for our democracy, yet they are the most important issues we face in our future, thanks to the misguided vision of Republicans.

Three Things Kendall County Doesn't Need.

The outside money that has been gushing in at the Boy Ingemunson HQ (it's his father's law office) is obscene.

While I realize that Kendall County, with its fantastic growth, is going to bound to be teeming with political contributions from outsiders wishing to peddle their influence to the heirs of Kendall County power, there is nothing stopping it.

Boy's campaign reports they spent more than $45,000 on signage alone, which one would not reasonably expect from someone who should enjoy great name recognition. He is, after all, the youngest son of a man who is known as the Kingmaker in Kendall County, and a former 20-year State's Attorney.

But the wide-eyed (and fat-faced) Boy Wonder feigns wonder at the need for speed and cash in today's political world.

Look, kid. Here's a hint. If it weren't for guys like your dad, you would be right. There are three things we don't need any more of in Kendall County: More outside money, more corruption, and another Ingemunson.

Actually, I guess that's just one thing...

Why CNN Drives Me Crazy.

CNN is currently playing another round of personal experience with Katrina to fill in for Anderson Cooper. That would be the third time I have seen this segment in the past three days.

Let's get some current events in front of people, even if sweet little Heidi Collins has to work late one day a week.

Scratch that (the "currently" part, anyway). Now it's Larry King rerun world.

Oh, Jesus.

Let's get the re-runs of scheduled for the 2-3 hours before your programming begins anew in the a.m., and give the nightly news programs, such as Cooper's, a truly topical, nightly show.

Spread The Fear. Feel The Fear. Taste It.

Eric Zorn posted a link to this piece from the ultra-right London Daily Telegraph (formerly owned by the publishers of the Chicago Sun-Times, whose top executives were recently indicted for allegedly stealing hundreds of millions of dollars from the company over the past several years) in yesterday's "Land of Linkin'" (where I have not yet appeared, Mr. Eric).

I realize that Zorn rather comically introduced the piece with a Scooby Doo "Ruh-Roh..." But I think more should be said about it.

The problem I have with the survey, which states that "four in 10 British Muslims surveyed" want to establish some sort of Muslim law in Great Britain, is that it doesn't state info about its sampling methods. And while you will find in the article that the Telegraph contracted surveyor, ICM, queried some 500 Muslims, it doesn't say where, and it doesn't mention that there a more than one million Muslims living in London, alone.

Further, the CIA Factbook estimates that only 2.7% of Great Britain's population of 60.4 million is Muslim. Another interesting fact is that 1.3% of its population is Pakistani. So where are these 500 samples drawn from? Predominantly Pakistani neighborhoods? Where is this sample, that's representative of just three-hundredths of one percent of the 1.631 million estimated Muslims living in Great Britain?

I just don't buy it.

Look. We're dealing with a very tiny percentage of the Muslim population that's gone Bat Shit Crazy, as I've earlier pointed out.

To respond to the crazy effigy-burning, chanting, stark-raving fucking lunacy of this group of gangsters would be like responding every time Pat Robertson said something crazy. It happens every day.

And Now... To Wag The Dog.

Now it's all absolutely crystal clear. I'm now completely convinced that the current "crisis" between Congress and the White House is only part of another game that we've seen played over and over again.


Step one is to create a crisis. Let's allow a company based in a country that supports and harbors terrorists to bid on the port operations at six of our busiest ports. Aha! The scheme is hatched.

Step two is to create a sense that Republicans really know what matters to everyday, run-of-the-mill Americans, and that they are the ones to provide us with secure borders and ports.

Step three is to create a situation so outlandish that absolutely every American must believe in what its Congressional leaders are committing themselves to. Hint: It needs to be a slam-dunk, but that shouldn't be so hard. The world is only black and white, after all.

Step four is to create a bad guy; some disposable entity that already lacks the support of the nation, and needs just a bit more to push it out into the deep water for good.

Fristy says he'll "introduce legislation." Hastert now says he "favors a moratorium" (big words, little real words, typical).

It took these guys a week to even speak up, which should be a pretty good sign that they're getting their heads together with yet another plan to pull their asses from the fire.

Wowee. Golly. The President fires back that he'll "veto any legislation" that scuttles the current plan, that the company has been fully vetted. The President has not vetoed a single piece of legislation to date. He doesn't need to because they're all carefully crafted and orchestrated. Just like this one.

Here's another reason I'm convinced it's all a game. While both the President and Congress are very unpopular at this point, the GOP has everything to lose by losing the House. Who cares about Bush? If they can hold the House this fall, there's no impeachment. They're unlikely to lose the Senate. If they start shitting on Bush, it doesn't matter. They might be able to use it as a wedge issue against Democrats in the fall.

Hey, I've seen crazier Rovian scenarios play out in the past five years.

So Fristy Hastert can do whatever it wants on this one.

I'm leaving on a flight tomorrow, with a long pair of scissors and a small aluminum hairspray canister in my bag.

They're both now legal to carry onto the plane.

Who cares? This is all just a big fucking joke to these guys. It's not real at all.

So Don't fall for it.

Now That We've Heard From Fristy...

When will we hear from Hastert on the takeover of six major U.S. ports by a UAE-based company?

Fox News says that Heavy D and Boehner are hunkered down, getting ready to "apply some muscle" to the Bush administration on the subject.

Right. More like taking polls in one room, and keeping touch with Tom DeLay in another to figure out what to do.

If Hastert and Boehner are working on this, why in the Hell has Hastert been absolutely silent so far?

I realize that the Speaker doesn't represent his district "by tradition," and that he doesn't really know what happens at a major port unless some lobbyist lackey sends the word in via a Hastert staffer.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert, the titular head of the United States House of Representatives, is a piss-poor excuse as a representative of anything but the special interests of his political buddies.

Hastert Statement on Impeachment.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is on the record, along with Boehner and other prominent Republicans, on the subject of impeachment.

The fact of the matter is that Hastert lied to his constituents when he told them right up until the vote that he was undecided on the matter. All the while, he was assisting Tom DeLay in rounding up and walking the real undecided members of the House through the House Cloakroom, where DeLay had set up an "evidence table."

Why Should I Believe Anything From This Man?

And why in the world would I believe this story about the U.S. being "on the verge" of energy breakthroughs?

As long as we're giving tax breaks to people who buy gigantic, wasteful vehicles, with nowhere near the reward for those who buy energy efficient models; as long as governments at every level continue to buy these same inefficient models; as long as governments at every level continue to build structures that suck energy resources out of the community and drive up the cost of government, I don't believe anything associated with Bush's energy "initiatives."

Just more smoke and mirrors.

As we've come to expect from his pattern of lies, this will continue for a period of about three months after the State of the Union Address. Hastert will likely throw in some token nonsensical bill that is either as black and white, and politically-charged, or politically-charged and

In the Grip...

In the grip of the fat hand of power and corruption.

Take your pick. It could go either way.