Saturday, October 29, 2005

Why Does Dennis Hastert Hate Working Families?

Given the hot, urgent legislative agenda that Denny Hastert is attempting to shove through the House on behalf of George W. Bush -- with permanent tax cuts for wealthy Americans and corporations at the top of the Christmas list -- it does not go without notice that the Speaker has absolutely nothing to say about protecting the pensions and retirement dreams of working Americans.

You know, the backbone thingee of our society? The middle class? Remember those poor, miserable bastards who live from one payday to the next, Denny? Remember way back when you were one?

Scratch that: we know you never had to worry about that.

It is not hard to ask this very pointed question, given the rest of the agenda Hastert and Frist will be pimping for the remainder of their political careers:
    • Destroying Social Security for everyone under 50
    • Converting Social Security as a form of poverty insurance into a risky investment scheme worthy of the Junk Bond Traders Hall of Fame
    • Derailing passenger rail service by eliminating Amtrak funding
    • Paving the way for an oil-centric energy policy for another generation
    • Giving permanent tax cuts to people who don't need it, and don't demonstrate that they're doing anything to ensure our societal improvement with what the receive in their welfare payoff.
We live in an amazing time, when our leaders have been able to convince others that sharp-elbowed, unrelenting assholes, and unindicted torture co-conspirators are diplomats -- statesmen at the right hand of our President.

Where there is a bizarre fascination and fear of sodomy and gay people, but at every turn the government is sodomizing average people who are just trying to make a living.

Where Hooverian policies that failed miserably and sucked our economy into grave depression, and McCarthyism that wielded the ugly spectre of fear of the unknown and political hackery like a hammer on anyone that got in its way, have resurfaced, bearing the laurel wreath of victory.

Where Denny Hastert's call to Big Oil to start producing more domestic oil and to stop our dependence on foreign energy sources (while sounding like a call to help Americans) is nothing more than a shill for Big Oil that will pave the way for more destruction of peerless public lands and undisturbed paradises for drilling and refinery development that won't pay off for consumers for years (if ever).

Why does Denny Hastert hold onto these twisted views of reality? Why is he so eager to bury the greatest society on earth by destroying the middle class?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Friday Night Predictions

George W. Bush, with a history of heart problems, will drop dead at some point during the trial phase of the CIA leak probe (which we now know will take many months), in order to protect President Dick Cheney. The combination of the years of drug abuse and alcoholism, and the added stress will simply prove too much for his fragile system. The beauty of this Rovian strategy, of course, is that it will take the focus off President Cheney's gross misdeeds, and Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will no longer be the top news story every night for the next two years.

Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will ultimately plead guilty and cooperate with Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, which will nearly coincide with his appointment by Former Next President Al Gore to the post of U.S. Attorney General.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert will also drop dead, likely the result of some bizarre electrocution during a blogging session.

Tom DeLay will come out of the closet and claim the mantel of the fallen Speaker (which he is, in reality, already). DeLay will then spend the next 2-4 years getting boned up the ass every night in the news, just the kind of fitting treatment one would expect of a pius little cocksucker like DeLay.

Scooter "I. Lewis" Libby will do serious time, even after cooperating with the prosecution, and seriously earn his nickname.

President Cheney will declare martial law and dissolve Congress's Constitutional powers of oversight.

Forget that last part. That's already been voluntarily given up.

President Cheney will pardon himself and all others in Traitorgate before leaving office after his fourth secret heart transplant.

Karl Rove will one day step on his dick, and it will matter to someone other than Jeff Gannon.

The Queen of All Iraq, Judith Miller, will (true to predictions from her former NYT colleagues) spend the next 35-50 years on "book leave" from the newspaper.

And Speaking of Platitudinous Crap...

Is there anyone out there who thinks we are getting anything of value from the Speaker's website?

Considering the pile of money (Your Money) that goes into Hastert's Communications (or "Press") operation, one would think there would be something more there than the following drivel:
    Speaker J. Dennis Hastert Statement on Current Energy Prices
    Speaker Hastert Applauds Passage Of Bill to Ease Lawsuit Abuse

    Speaker Hastert Comments On America’s Economic Endurance
    On Vote Allowing the Remains of Rosa Parks to Lie in Honor in the Capitol
There is nothing here of value. Half of these platitudes, with accompanying 100-word essays were all posted today. That's the most work I've ever seen from Hastert's staff (especially considering addition of the blog, yesterday) in such a small span of time.

But it's meaningless crap. At best, it shows what a political hack Denny Hastert is. Drilling for more oil in America's once-protected pristeen wilderness and building more refineries (because that's what Dick Cheney says we need to do) is the most important position you'll find in this mix. And it's so shallow, it's not worth the effort to read the message even if it were distilled into a text message news clip on my phone.

You Have Got To Be Kidding.

Realizing, of course, that this is going to land into a number of feed sites, I am being kind.

This actually falls under the category of Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!

Today's comments by Bush, verbatim, from
    While we're all saddened by today's news, we remain wholly focused on the many issues and opportunities facing this country. I got a job to do, and so do the people who work in the White House. We got a job to protect the American people, and that's what we'll continue working hard to do.

    I look forward to working with Congress on policies to keep this economy moving. And pretty soon I'll be naming somebody to the Supreme Court.

    Thank you all very much.
First of all, it's nothing short of disgusting that he did not line up the staff and demand an explanation. A public ass-kicking on a runway somewhere would have actually preserved this nimrod's "straight-shooter" image. What it shows is not a guy who values loyalty among trusted friends and colleagues. It shows a man so twisted by his rigid ideology that he can't move out of its way, even when it is crushing him by its sheer unwieldiness.

Second, "We got a job to do" is something I expect to hear from some jumpsuit-clad community service inductee on way out the diner door to go clean up ditches. It's nice that he "relates" to the lower-class, uneducated, but he's the fucking President for Christ's sake. Dress it up, shrubby. You're on camera.

Last (but not least), is that this demonstrates the President's wholesale shamelessness and inability to answer the call of the people. We don't want another 30-second, platitudinous piece of crap (although we had a nice serving from the President's speech in Norfolk this morning). The photo used here from the Norfolk speech, for instance, shows Chauncey Gardener in front of another platitudinous banner proclaiming "Strategy for Victory." Didn't hear one. Haven't heard one yet. If they keep printing it on signs, maybe it'll just become true.

We want answers, God-Damnit. What did you know, when. And why is Dick Cheney, who obviously had at least some knowledge of these goings-on, still working on the public payroll.

If only we had a branch of government that could demand oversight... or answers... from the Imperial Branch. Oh, for a Democracy like the one The Framers had in mind.

Since Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is so consumed by what I'm writing about him (because the media has been too chicken to expose this fraud), he doesn't have time for oversight of any kind.

Shameless Whores: Hastert Press Crew

I always thought Denny Hastert was a phony, but now it's confirmed on just the second entry on the new feature, "Speaker's Journal," his new blog.

The second post (more honest and full of genuine candor than the first, which pretended to be Hastert at the keyboard) is posted by Ron Bonjean, formerly of the Trent Lott Incompetent Press Machine™.

He basically posts a reprint of a news release linked to the source,

What you may not know is that CNSNews is about as legitimate a news source as newsmax.

It is a subsidary (a phony front operation, pretending to be a news site) owned by the Media Research Center, which is owned by Right-Wing Nutjob Brent Bozell. His $2.8M advertising campaign accepted public donations to promote a campaign led by Uncle Same pointing a finger, admonishing the "liberal media elites" to "TELL THE TRUTH!"

To some of us who use actual thought and reasoning in our day-to-day lives, that's kind of like flag-burning.

So what you have here, basically, thanks to Ron Bonjean, is Hastert's endorsement of Brent Bozell's worldview, which is to say that Dennis Hastert supports crap like this.

Nice going, Ron. No one could have fucked over Denny any better than you have. And you haven't been on his staff that long!

Why does Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert support this brand of radicalism?


Dennis Hastert now has a blog!

I guess all the visits from the House and Senate offices to 50 Miles Out of the Loop are working. I have long criticized the moronic site Hastert offers, with limited (at best) updates, and scant information, in general. But even today, it's nothing more or less than it was a week ago.

What is the first entry about? Hastert's gushing support for Big Oil to start building new refineries all over the country, presumably to bring down the cost of energy. As usual, Hastert's point of view is about as deep as a teacup saucer.

BTW, Denny, I don't think anyone is going to believe that you're writing it... which of the million-dollar communications staff in your office is at the keyboard? Judging from the talent pool you've assembled, it's likely a group effort.

I think anyone with a brain expects the Speaker's site to be every bit as robust as

Get your asses busy, kids. You're as behind as your boss's views on energy issues.

Merry Fitzmas

While CNN gives Republican operative and former GOP administration attorney Joe DeGenova free reign over the airwaves to trash Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation and the indictments about to be released...

Merry Fitzmas, everyone.

Never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Peter Fitzgerald (but only for giving us Patrick Fitzgerald).

You're still an asshole, Petey.

Another Wasteful Speech

Aside from being just another campaign speech, where the President again quoted terrorists freely to make his point that we cannot leave Iraq, I was appalled just now to see AF-1 taking off from Norfolk on the way back to Andrews AFB.

If you've never been to the east coast, take a look at a map. It's a distance of less than 200 miles.

That's like flying a 747 from O'Hare to Champaign to watch the first half of a U of I football game.

What's more the fuel economy for such a trip (to ferry Bush and his little entourage) is hardly wise considering current energy costs for the average American, and what we're going to be living through this winter.

Good thing we have an intrepid Speaker of the House, leading a House of Representatives on the watch for such examples of slothful government waste.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Mr. Speaker: Approve Destruction of Mars.

If this is even remotely true, Speaker of the House Hastert should send authorization to the President at once that allows him to empty the nation's nuclear arsenal on Mars.

With a swing this close, we don't want a smoking shell of a planet to be the warning sign that the upcoming close swing is close enough, Martians!

According to British intelligence agents, Martians have been attempting to acquire technology that moves the Red Planet closer to Earth, obviously as a planetary weapon.

Speaker Hastert: Give the President total control of this situation at once.