Rehnquist Finally Dead.

It's nice when someone can be eulogized by their own words.

With that, I send you off to the time of great decisions:
"Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It..."

Undoubtedly Gone

Can't help but think about the last night I was in New Orleans a few months back. I walked down Canal to Royal (a block away from Bourbon) and was just looking in the windows of the furniture stores and estate sale stores. As I passed one entryway, an older man spoke up.
"Where you from?" It scared the hell out of me. I just wasn't expecting it.
"Chicago," I said, making it clear I didn't want any trouble.
"How would you like to hear a Chicago song?"
With that, my demeanor melted in the midst of a song I can barely remember. My years of formal music education told me that he knew what he was playing. He was really good -- not your typical street musician.
He finished the number, then explained why this song about New Orleans was really a Chicago song. It was one of many Louis Armstrong wrote while married to Lil Harden, about how much he missed his wife (who was still in New Orleans) while he worked with the band in Chicago.
With my approval, he played me another song.
"Now this is a New Orleans song." We talked for a while. His wife, who was sitting in a wheelchair behind him, bundled up in what must have been several layers of fleece shirts and sweatpants to guard from the chilly night air, advised me on my later-in-life desire to pick up the acoustic guitar and teach myself.
He and I talked about some of his better times in the south central Illinois area, traveling through the state during his career as a road musician.
I slipped him a 20 and declined the offer to hear more. I thought it was time to move on. I kind of just wanted to be alone that night.

I'm sure they're both gone. She was very frail. They obviously were out on the street every night, if not all the time, trying to keep it together.

Might pick up the guitar tomorrow and play a while.

One Great Way To Apologize

Of course, one really great way would be for Hastert to just walk away.

There are rumors that he is retiring after the session is over. Maybe some other mumblephuck will run. Doubt it.

No, one great way to apologize for Wednesday's horrible stream of conscienceness nonsense about how some of NOLA should be bulldozed has just occurred to me. Go to the House floor on Tuesday and say something like this:

"Blah, blah, blah... I resign."

What am I thinking? I must have had too much to drink already.

Dick Alive?

FEMA to Chicago, Daley, offers for help: "Go Fuck Yourself."

Guess that settles it. He's running the shadow government overseeing the Clusterfuck™ in NOLA.

Dead. Aye, Dick.

Is Cheney Dead? I didn't see him sitting at the table the other day in pics of the cabinet meeting.

He has not surfaced, as you would expect any variety of turd to float, in the flooding.

Is he neglecting his duties as Vice President, or is he just still on vacation, wishing that everyone would, well, just go fuck themselves?

In any event, his absense sure has been a bright spot going into this little vacation weekend. Where you and I are too damn poor to buy gas to drive to the UP for the weekend. Damn it.

Humble Teacher Donates Classic Antique Lincoln

Nice headline. It's factually accurate, but not complete.

Today, we learned that Dennis Hastert not only blew off the emergency session of Congress that (he says) he called for yesterday. The humble teacher, the regular guy, the one who's like you and me, donated an antique Lincoln Continental from his massive antique car collection to help fund the relief fund for Katrina.

I applaud the huge donation. Seriously.

I also question how the image of "The Coach" can survive, now that the truth is out.

He also has an antique fire engine (rumored to be worth $80,000) in the collection, which numbers nearly 20 vehicles.

Not bad for a teacher. Who votes against teachers. Wonder where all that dough comes from.

Light 'Em Up.

Light up Hastert's offices and ask where the Hell the most powerful Republican in the state of Illinois is. Ask why the Hell he called a special emergency session for a voice vote, then went to a fundraiser in Indiana, instead.

Ask if he'll apologize -- or clarify -- his remarks about bulldozing New Orleans, and having to take a good, hard look at where they'll spend the money.

Ask what the first order of business will be when the Congress starts work next Tuesday.

Ask why it was so important to ignore his leadership role in a time of national crisis.

In D.C.: 202-225-2976
Batavia Office: 630 401-1114
Dixon: 815-288-0680

Report the lies in comments or email.

Oops! Stepped on Your Dick Again!

The Odorous J. Dennis is missing today. Don't worry. This isn't a plug about the phoney knee injury that he used to skip out of Viet Nam. He's really not AWOL or even MIA.

Now, why the hell a guy has to go to Indiana to campaign for a Republican -- over taking a leadership role in a time of national crisis -- is beyond me.

If this fat sonofabitch had an ounce of shame, he would apologize and resign.

Doubt that's going to happen. He's made it clear there's no apology coming for the "bulldoze New Orleans" statement from Wednesday.

Note to Mumbler's Mouthpieces: clarification does not equal apology.

And start looking for honest work.

Covering His Gigantic Ass

Here's the transcript "courtesy of WSPY" (who undoubtedly extended an offer to get Hastert on the air to cover his tracks from the Daily Herald interview).

The Nelsons, who own WSPY, btw, have given tens of thousands of dollars to the Hastert people in the last couple of election cycles. It's nice they have that little advertising arrangement with a paid public official.

Dr. Death, Puppy Dog

One thing was good to see today on the clip of King George talking at the cameras before he left for the Gulf Coast. "Mike" Chertoff (Dr. Death to you and me) following the King like a little puppy.

What would be better? Fire that sonofabitch for his utter incompetence, and his lying about the "magnificent" efforts played out thusfar. While you're at it, King George, fire that ass-kisser Mike Brown, too.

Who thought it was a good idea to have a career political appointee - lawyer running Homeland Security (which basically controls half the government resources now)? Who thought the same resume was good for running FEMA?

Jesus. If this was Chicago, it would surely look like the end of the world. You'd be talking about millions dead.

These sons of bitches have had Four Years to make such a large-scale rescue, quick response work.

What an utter failure of leadership.

What Is It With This Guy??

Er, the really fat one on the right, that is.

Haley Barbour is not only a liar, he's a fucking idiot. And he can't read numbers. And he doesn't know that a category 5 storm is classified such by its wind force (155mph and up) and sea swells 18 feet or more above normal. He also pronounces "Saturday" as SAD-Dur-dee.

You have to say that slow, like you have a mouthful of bullshit to sound like Haley Barbour. I suspect you have to say everything slow for Haley (as Larry King calls him), too.

He told King tonight (as if that means anything at all, but he is on the record once he does so) that he "had no idea, even Sunday, that this would be a category five hurricane."

Back to the NOAA charts again, fat boy. While you were plugging your hole with fried pork fat and gravy, THE FEDERAL AGENCY ASSIGNED TO ADVISE THE AMERICAN PUBLIC ABOUT W-E-A-T-H-E-R had this on the charts. And on SAD-Dur-dee, it was classified as just a pissy little F3 all day. What a bunch of over-reaching pussies. To expect a gigantic, collossal fucking nightmare to grow from a pissy little F3 to an F5 in a day. Jesus.

Enough with Haley Barbour!

Now I haven't had time to write about how Hastert should be giving sons, Ethan (a brand new lawyer! being encouraged by his father to go into politics) and Josh (a lobbyist, after being sent to Podesta-Mattoon by his father) to the war effort.

Note to The Mumbler's Mouthpieces:

The overwhelming reaction to Mumbler Speakermouth Ron Bonjean's response to the outrage over Hastert's idiotic comments to the Daily Herald: You're an insensitive asshole, too.

Perhaps what the non-denial really meant to say is that in typical fashion, Hastert's comments were meant only to suck up all the oxygen in the room so he could leave the interview without actually saying anything at all.

BTW, anyone out there know how many mouths Hastert has speaking out loud for him? On the payroll, I mean?

Here's a Tip...

Governor Elvis: Please tell the Mumbler of the House to take his $207 Million Pork Project and shove it way down yonder in New Orleans. IDOT doesn't even want it. The community at-large doesn't want it. Hastert and "Tollgate Properties" wants it.

Maybe some intrepid reporter could look into that?

Great Jesus Jumpin' Jehosephat.

Have been out for quite a while this evening and just saw the Quicktime of Anderson Cooper coming undone with (an obviously lithium-induced) Sen. Mary Landrieu.

I never thought I'd see Anderson come apart, but considering the completely crazy shit he's seen this week, I still have plenty of admiration for what he does so well. And he's so right. I'm sick and tired of self-congratulatory politicians heaping it on.

I've always kind of had some wishy washy feelings about the Senator, but I just don't get her tonight. I don't want to pile on, because I was accused of that mightily earlier today over some things I said about Bill Clinton not keeping his mouth shut enough this afternoon when he was asked if he thought the government should bear some responsibility for the delays in getting support to NOLA. I just don't get her.

Somebody from LA is bound to open up in the next day or so. Could be the mayor, could be the governor, whose press conference was pre-empted by King George's photo op with Poppy and Bill. Don't know who it's going to be, but it's going to be explosive.

Speaker Mumblephuck: "Screw New Orleans"

After reading this, my portable blood pressure machine nearly burst.

Asked in an interview with the Daily Herald, a suburban Chicago paper, whether it makes sense to spend billions rebuilding a city that lies below sea level, a reference to New Orleans, Hastert replied, ``I don't know. That doesn't make sense to me.''

He added it was a question ``that certainly we should ask. And, you know, it looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed.''

I need drugs, and a nap after reading this.

The venerable Times-Picayune, which abandoned its facility and has been publishing only on the web since Tuesday, has a better story.
Forget what I said about coming back to work.

You're fired, Asshole.

Good News! Congress Will Be Back Next Week!

How about you show some
a) Accountability
b) Leadership
c) Common Fucking Sense
And get your great big, giant, lazy fat ass back to work right now?

Do I sound angry? Not the time for finger-pointing?

Get your ass back to work right now. You work for me.

Haley Barbour is Lying Sack of Shit

This morning, Haley Barbour, former RNC chairman and noted gummint hater, went on the record in savage smugness with CNN's Miles O'Brien saying that no one can blame the government for not acting quickly enough on the Katrina relief efforts. After all, he said, Katrina was a category one storm when it hit Florida. "No one could have known" it would be a Category Five when it made its second landfall, he spit back at O'Brien. It was only a Category Five hurricane for a few hours...

Muck Muck Muck.

Here's a link from NOAA (that would be the Federal Government, you fat asshole) that tells it all.

Spin the reel over there and see for yourself. This was forecast Friday afternoon.

Denny Hastert's America

Regular gas is now well over $3 in "The Speaker's" hometown.

Good job, asshole.

Come again?

"Speaker" "J. Dennis" Denny Hastert on healthcare.

If there's anyone out there who reads this without laughing out loud and/or actually believes this bullshit, please email me right away.

No wonder this asshole has a 26% positive rating among the American public.

No Words.

Been out of town on business and can't believe the story unfolding.

This is not America. This is not a President.

I had the good fortune to not only visit New Orleans for the first time, but spend some time in the French Quarter in March of this year. I wondered, at the time, what might have happened if NOLA had not dodged the bullet last summer when Ivan rolled through.

There is simply no way that the supplies mentioned by Bush in today's announcement, are going to even make a dent in even New Orleans, let alone the entire Gulf coastline from New Orleans to Pensacola.

144 generators? Come on.

The "Speaker's" site links visitors to the firstgov.gov site that tells people what to do to help and what to do if you're a vicitm.

All partisanship aside, you know, that may quite possibly be the stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen. "What to do if you're a victim," posted online, for people in a large portion of the Gulf coastline where there's no power, no internet, no cell phone long distance service.

You know, I think if I were the President or the Speaker, I would have been shown on TV Monday morning or afternoon, taking a break from my "vacation" (read: campaigning) to be seen in a sweaty shirt, telling people we're on the job.

By Monday night I would have had people broadcasting on ham radio, cell phone text messages from providers, TV, Radio, shortwave, and on the fucking megaphones of hovering helicopters, the following message: "Don't Despair. Help is On The Way." And then I would have put a ready plan in place.

Instead, these motherfuckers answer the call two days later.

Good God. There are no words to describe how angry this makes me.