Oops. The word is out tonight! Why not save us some money and just resign now?
Seriously, Mr. Hastert, here's your $180,000 salary for 2008 in advance. I'll say this in language even you can understand:
Go gitcherself apeera fokkin glasses that fitcher fokkin mellenhed.
By the way, here's a little something to downplay that tiresome bit about Hastert being the "longest-serving Republican Speaker in history." Enjoy.