Friday, May 26, 2006

Unbelievable Stupidity.

I've heard some arguments on the other side of the aisle saying, well, if you had -- if you earn $40,000 a year, you wouldn't get a very big tax cut. Well, folks, if you earn $40,000 a year and have a family of two, you don't pay any taxes. So you probably -- if you don't pay any taxes, you are not going to get a big tax cut. Now, if you earn $1 million a year, you are going to pay about $400,000 of taxes. Maybe you'll get a $40,000 tax cut, maybe. But look at the math. But I am saying, those are relative things.

Think about it: this man "educated" a generation of young people from Yorkville, Illinois in his last career.

Sweet Jesus.

The Pale. The Freak Show.

Watching the parade of freaks in $99 suits line up on the House floor to defend Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is about all I can take for one night.

Fortunately for you, gentle reader, CSPAN is offline. Elst I would give you a video link.


Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Appropriate Response.

ABC has, in effect, told The Speaker to pound sand. No retraction. Good.

What else can you say to the "third most powerful" politician in America when he threatens to sue you for libel? I can think of a couple good ones.

Perhaps a dictionary might help here:

Stupid ( STYOO • pid ) adj.
Any elected public official who does not understand that the media is exempt from libel charges unless said public official can prove malice aforethought in the writ.

Useless (YOOS • less) adj.
Advisor to previously mentioned public figure who allows same to go in front of a microphone without aid of tranquilization and/or muzzling.

Heh, Heh, Heh...

Brad Friedman isn't buying the old "you'd better retract that story" business, either.

Triple Heh Squared.

More Microsoft Fantasy.

If MS has their way, JPG would be replaced with the "Windows Media Photo" format.

How fucking ridiculous. This story would have been better placed in the "Offbeat News" rather than the Tech category.

And we're still holding our breath for that PDF replacement Bill Gates was bragging about a couple years ago.

Oh, yeah. And the iPod's days are just about over, because everyone is going to want to do everything on a phone licensed by Microsoft.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Evil. I Love It.

The Evil Reverend promises news today on the Last Boy Scout.

Oh, my. What a very big day.

I may have to take a nap before checking back in with the Rev.

Hastert Under FBI Eyes.

ABC News led tonight with a blockbuster: Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert Is Under Investigation By The FBI In The Ongoing Abramoff Probe.

I can't believe they got enough info out to get it out this week.

Hooray for the good guys: a free press.

Oh, Goody! A Showdown!

We're just teeming with Cowgirl and Cowboy pride here today, anxiously awaiting the first Constitutional Showdown of the Final Bush-Fristy-Hastert Administration.

I love watching Republicans eat each other!

I'm just as interested as the bald-headed serpent is about Jefferson's explanation of what $90,000 in cash was doing in his freezer.

That must make it especially hard for Hastert to step in, but Denny's absolutely right on on this one. Plus, he's likely a little worried about what it would do to morale -- not to mention some of his own kind -- if he were to stand idle on yet another critically important issue.

Welcome BuzzFlash Readers.

I've noticed a large spike in readership with a number of Buzzers and Flashers joining my little house party.

Thanks for stopping in. Please bookmark me and come on back. It gets funner in the next week or two.

Stooge On Stage.

Today's Highlights Quiz: Can you spot the stooge in this picture?

Here's a tip: It's a trick question.

Answers to the Quiz: If you guessed the large person on the left with the big red face, you're right!

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is the Speaker of All Stooges for warmly welcoming President Bush after the latter fired his good friend, Porter Goss (a former member of the FL congressional delegation, from a safe district), after Goss did the preznit's dirty work.

That Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert would warmly welcome this man to Chicago (in front of a trade group whose members employ an estimated 600-700,000 illegal immigrants) was simply remarkable.

But if you guessed the smirking figure of emptiness on the right, you're also correct!

That this fellow would dare to think for a moment that his campaign speech for war would be warmly welcomed in Chicago shows what kind of an empty-headed idiot he is, as well!

Thanks for playing the Highlights Quiz today!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Hastert Spinners Busy.

My Goodness. And when you're as Good as Me, it should be capitalized.

What busy little beavers we have at the Speaker's multi-million-dollar communications war-room.

Three big press releases this week, and the Speaker has shown his privates.

My Goodness.

Ever Wonder...

How many times Republicans have really lied? Get a pretty good idea here.

Credit Where Credit Is Due.

Buzzflash contacted me today to take exception to my earlier comment:
Thankfully, Buzzflash is finally taking on this buffoon for what he is; a clueless, oafish dolt.

Actually, it was probably the "'Bout Time" heading that pissed them off, and rightfully so.

Sorry, Buzzflash dudes. And I can't believe I didn't have you linked in the blogroll until today!

Christ, I'm sorry again. Buzzflash has, indeed, brought quite a number of Hastertisms to light.

What I should have said is that they're about the only ones.

UPI Story On Hastert: Wrong!

Totally fucking wrong. Saying Hastert is about to become the longest-serving Speaker in history is like saying that Joe Martin was a great Speaker.

Who? You ask?? Exactly.

The longest-serving Speaker in the history of the Republic was the great Samuel Rayburn, who led the House of Representatives through nearly all of the 1940s and 1950s, and served a total of more than 17 years. Rayburn also holds the distinction of being elected by his peers more than any other Speaker - 10 times. He died not long after his last election.

Joe Cannon, cited in the errant UPI piece, was the longest-serving Republican House Speaker prior to Hastert's tenure.

In all, 4 Democrats can claim 8 or more years as Speaker. Ahem.

In the 20th century alone.

Champ Clark served as Speaker from 1911-1919, and (undid much of Joe Cannon's misdeeds and power grab for the Speakership).

Rayburn served as Speaker from '40-'47, '49-'53, and from '55 until his death in 1961.

John McCormack served from '61-'71, and The Speaker, Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill, served from '77-'87.

Democrats led the house and held the Speakership for 62 years of the 19th century, and for an astounding 70 years of the 20th century.

It's also important to note that old Smokin' Joe Cannon was first turned on to politics as a young man by another Illinois Republican politician - Abraham Lincoln. Putting the pieces together on this yet?

In our third century as a nation, only two Republicans have led the House for 8 years. Joe Cannon and Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert. Two forgettable names in history.

There's your story. Ouch. And your history lesson, UPI.

Stupid fuckers.

'Bout Time.

Buzzflash riffs on Hastert's idiotic comments about how people like you and I "don't pay any taxes." Good analysis.

Thankfully, Buzzflash is finally taking on this buffoon for what he is; a clueless, oafish dolt.


If you've ever had insomnia, or long-term bouts with it, you know the middle-of-the-night drill: search for a channel that's not showing the latest "Girls Gone Wild" video peeks.

Now comes the "Boys Gone Wild" videos, to be fair to the ladies.

So this, dear friends, is what I call the equivalent of the answer to a line that might go something like this:


For a change, I'll actually compliment the fat man for having his minions pen the letter.

But know there's plenty of nervousness behind it. Allowing the FBI to do this without any type of collegial approach is like asking to have all the offices tapped and telling the members they have nothing to fear if they "haven't done anything wrong..."

Baseball and Sex.

Know that old maxim about men and how they should think about baseball when having sex. You know, to sort of "extend the pleasure?"

Guess it goes without saying that if you don't have anything better to talk about, start with baseball and ease into... something else.

Sorry for the ugly image with that last line.