Three Ideas for the Democratic Party.

Dear Leaders... Ahem. Dear Rahm, et al.

Please take this advice. Stop fucking around in elections where we already have good candidates (see Cegelis and Scott, for one), and take a few notes. Hire Sid Blumenthal to start penning memos again. And focus on the future. Here are the three points that are key to Democratic Party success.

First, question power. That's right. You've helped the rest of us Democrats remain powerless in the last three election cycles now with your impotence. Thanks, by the way.

The power amassed by this White House is unprecedented. And what's more alarming is the fact that at every turn this administration has proved itself utterly incompetent from the top down. I believe in the business world, where the genius of Cheney-Bush was culled, this is called, um... bankrupt.

This White House has complete control over government, so the very notion that they might label Democrats as "obstructionists" is only doing you a favor. Number one, it's not true. You've been stripped of power, and thus, much of the nation is powerless. Number two, it shows you what contempt these so-called Republicans have for the Constitution. What has occurred in our federal government since 9/11/01 has not taken place to protect us; Republicans are wrapped up in a naked pursuit of permanent power. Period.

Second, question security. Sure. You're the party we're going to look to to protect us from now on. Because the Republican Party has completely fucked us in the ass. In the Bible, they called that "Sodomy." In Kendall County, the Home of Speaker of the House Denny "J. Denny" Hastert, they call that getting fucked in the ass.

The TSA has been allowing me to carry aluminum and pressurized containers on board which must look like mace (it's hair spray). This fact escaped me until I saw the re-enactment of Flight 77 on the History Channel the other night (where mace was used to disable the 1st class passengers). And now I can walk on any flight with a pair of razor-sharp scissors worn in my hair, in a pocket, or behind my ear. This is insanity.

Last, question our economy. It is most certainly the product of the incompetence that is the Gingrich-Hastert crew.

By the time Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert and George W. Bush leave office (if they both leave voluntarily in 2009) we will be $13 Trillion in debt. This is insanity. The consumer-based economy, based almost entirely on the success of the retail and housing sectors, has created an untenable situation for the average American family, which is still working at 1989 wages.

None of these things are Democratic values. None of these things are good for our democracy, yet they are the most important issues we face in our future, thanks to the misguided vision of Republicans.