Why Not John Laesch?

Eddie waited til' he finished high school
He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo
He met a girl out there with a tattoo too
The future was wide open

Great song. I heard it a couple weeks ago after having a stormy conversation with a friend who wanted to vote for Ruben Zamora, but said she thought Laesch was a better campaigner.

It really resonates.

Honestly, though I have not seen or met John Laesch, I'm pretty sure he's not a better anything than Ruben Zamora.

Above all, he's a sneakly little bastard that attempted to thwart his rival's campaign by smearing him with false accusations of forgery on his petitions.

Being sneaky is one thing. Come, now. Remember when you first started smoking?

Being a liar is another. But we've all told those little lies that don't matter, haven't we?

There is a big difference here. And while I've been accused of making a mountain out of this, but that's not true. The mountain is there through the fog of a young candidate who pleads with you to believe in him.

What Laesch and other so-called "Progressives" have done is beyond anything I've seen in regional Dem politics in a very long time. They're supposedly kicking out moribund or lackluster Democratic leadership to supplant their own. OK, little cowboy. One job at a time.

First, let's talk about the comments Laesch made recently in his Kos Diary about outgoing Kendall Dem Party Chair, Martin Flowers:

Here in Kendall County, I have been working with the local Progressive Democratic Council to overthrow the stagnant Democratic Party. We have recruited 42 Precinct Committeemen and the Republicans only have 41. A strong structure will be essential to defeating Dennis Hastert.

Well, that's pretty clear. Overthrow is such a strong word. No one could misunderstand that. But here's more lying, too.

John Laesch and the Jim Birch Society have not "recruited 42 PCs." A peek at the current list of Kendall County Dem Precinct Committeemen shows there are 30 currently serving. When you consider the fact that the Jim Birch Society and John Laesch had 11 of those PC candidates thrown off the ballot, it would seem rather impossible that they "recruited 42."

There are exactly 42 listed on the ballot. That's correct. But many of the current PCs, exluding Tom Brophy, Jim Birch (of Society fame), Jack Sechrest, Democratic Party Traitor Jim Feeley, are still on the ballot.

While the Jim Birch Society posted a small net gain for the party in terms of presenting Precinct Committeemen for the ballot, an admirable feat for any political fringe faction, let's see if they have what it takes to get people elected. And let's see if those PCs are credible.

To date, not one person has been in my neighborhood representing Dems, and there's not a single Dem sign for at least a square mile.

As for the misguided notion that the leadership in Kendall was off-track, anyone who has watched as long as I have noticed that the party was growing right along with the Dem population in the county. It's growth depended on that. And it will grow, but so will divide between the factions. All the work the Flowers family members did in the last decade-plus is gone.

So, I guess my answer is no, I don't buy the party organizer schtick the little pisher has neatly inserted into his lingo.

Another thing. I've had more than one friend confirm for me that John Laesch told them or others in 2004, while working for the Kucinich for President campaign, that he (Laesch) was ex-CIA.

What a small world. Especially since John Pavich, who is running in CD 11, is a former CIA officer. Apparently when you mention that it has a positive effect these days. I hadn't really noticed until Laesch lied about being one. When confronted by this during a "live blog event" Laesch backed way away from it. In other words, he was caught. And he lied about it again.

Then came the petitions challenge. Laesch lied about that, too. One would think that his Christian upbringing, or his work with the "faith-based community" might cause his conscience to creep up on the lying that's taking place. Not Johnny.

The papers said Ed always played from the heart
He got an agent and a roadie named Bart
They made a record and it went in the chart
The sky was the limit

Next came the shotgun effect caused by his roadie, Bart his campaign manager, Clint Raulsten, who was about as good with the public as VD on an ugly whore. That's pretty bad, if that's over your heads, Progressives. Clint lied about the whole petition challenge with such detail and precision that he might as well have admitted every detail.

It wasn't a crime, after all, challenging petitions. I have no real problem with that. John Laesch apparently just had trouble understanding that a lot of older men sign their names in all caps (which is acceptable under election laws). When he saw it, he freaked out (read: saw an opening) and cried foul (read: accused his opponent of breaking the law) in a very above-board (malicious) way.

He's a pisher. A sneaky little bastard. Every pisher I ever knew was Laesch's type. They talk about their ties to their "faith" then they bend you over and sodomize you. I'm already getting sodomized by Denny Hastert and his people. How about something new for a change?

But when Laesch and Raulsten were confronted during this "live blog event" they both lied. Later, Laesch came back and admitted that his hothead campaign manager lied, then used some faith-based language to offer support to his fellow liar, then simply stated he wouldn't do anything about it.

Fired or otherwise, Raulsten moved on to another campaign not long after the blog debacle. Not a word from Laesch.

I was encouraged the first time I heard John Laesch on the radio (I think it was Mike Malloy's show). He sounded pretty sharp. But I have lived a life that has taught me that sounding sharp and being sharp are two different things, and that goes for a large chunk of Americana. John Laesch is in that chunk.

Into the great wide open
Under them skies of blue
Out in the great wide open
A rebel without a clue

So when John Laesch is defeated in the primary and we don't have to hear him trying to articulate positions he clearly does not understand, I'll be happy. You'll be happy, in the end.

Or, if Laesch's two days of campaigning (the signs went out over the weekend by the hundreds, it looks like) actually work, I'll quietly go on blogging about how incredibly fucked up things are in Denny Hastert's America. And not say another word about Laesch. Hastert's Goons will take care of that.