Three cheers to the Laesch campaign for:
a) planning a Saturday press conference to "take on" Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert on the Republican Hypocritical Cocksucker issue du jour.
b) having your girlfriend/campaign manager send out a late-night email asking attendees to wear their purple Laesch t-shirts, but only if they're going to attend (people with questions were told to not wear their campaign garb, thus making them look like maybe they likely attended over the furor).
c) not scoring a single fucking hit in the Sunday press. Because you're barely intelligent enough to remember to draw breath.
Here's how it goes, for those of you who have taken in $100,000 in campaign contributions and still don't have a clue how the world works.
Saturday press conferences are a waste of time. Would you walk your precinct during college football? Have a Sunday press conference ahead of the Bears game, hoping to make it into Monday's paper?
Nope. Unless you're a unibrow moron who thinks God told you to run for office, and you feel invincible every morning when you wake up in a delusional fog from the floor of your campaign office.
Lay low, stupids. Wait for the Sunday papers to hit, then trap them in their ongoing series of lies and obfuscation. Today's New York Times, for instance, contains plenty of information that Denny knew about this a year ago. Now he says he doesn't recall, but isn't willing to state for the record that the Republican member of Congress who personally informed The Speaker did or didn't bring it up, no matter what the matter seemed to be at the time.
Don't overtly or covertly participate in press conference packing that sends a signal that your support is not genuine.
And don't be surprised that in the voluminous weekend coverage of the scandal that your name is not mentioned. Not even once. Because you have no fucking idea how the world works, you stupid pishers.
I dunno about you, but I'm going to the Bears game and hoping this idiot goes away again.
Jesus H. Christ at a tailgater.