Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Republican Mantra.

I've been up for hours already (which is saying something when you're on the west coast) getting ready for the final leg of a long trip, making my way back to the Prairie State. The Republican Mantra just popped into my head. I'm sure this is due to a combination of things: I'm really tired. I'm listening to the Beatles "Across the Universe" on the new Nano. And I'm still scratching my head over yesterday's Apple announcement.

It always kills me that Wall Street is way more forgiving of belweather stocks when they miss a profit or sales projection. Apple Computer posted some pretty damned impressive results yesterday, then got their ass kicked in after-hours trading (sinking 10%) because they only sold 6.5 million iPods (not the 8m analysts expected). My bet: buy Apple stock today while it's still down at the opening bell. And before the Big Announcement.*

*I am not giving stock tips. It's just what I happen to think. I can't believe how many years I slaved away on a lousy PC that kept crashing, losing files, until I finally woke up a couple years ago and bought my first Mac. Now life is good.

The long windup is worth it. Trust me.

So, the Republican Mantra has popped into my head at this early hour, from nowhere. See how close this fits your impression of what's going on today:
    Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology. Where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death and we will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail!
That's the narrative from the most famous television ad ever aired, "1984" which Apple used to introduce the Macintosh during the 1984 Superbowl.

So how close is this?

$100 to anyone who can send me a credible sound file of a Hastert impression reading this script. Looks spot on to me.


The Liberal said...

I also think Macs rule. I purchased my first apple approximately 8 years ago, and I've never looked back.

Bill Baar said...

How can you talk of unification of Republican thoughts when they can't agree on Harriet Meir?

There is far more pressure in the Democratic party than the Republicans when it comes to enforcing orthodoxy. Just try being pro Liberationist in Iraq, pro life as a Democrat and then try being anti-war (e.g. Novak, Buchanen) and pro choice pro gay marriage (e.g. Giuliani) as an R. The R's are much more of a big tent these days.

HRC said...

Wow. Aren't you important? Supporting the establishment. Wow!

Orthodoxy? That's the problem. You don't get it.

Taking that kind of crap to heart is how Dems lost their way in recent decades. We don't even listen to it now without saying it as clearly as we can for you:
Pro-choice means I'm willing to tolerate all comers.
The reason Dems don't have a unified stand on Iraq is because your "unified thought" has fucked up their country far more than it ever was before. We realize we're all going to now have to make the real "hard work" of deciding what to do next. No one has that answer.

Your stand on both these issues is all about unification of thought and orthodoxy. It's what you would call a false choice if I had your position.

And how can you even pretend to have a shred of decency if you say that the Republicans have any kind of big tent at all? How can you blindly support this grim, bankrupt status-quo?