Friday, April 28, 2006

"Look It, There's No Magic Wand..."

That's a direct quote from "J. Dennis" Hastert. Honest to Gog.

Ah, yes. The magic wand.

Oh, magical, Magic Wand! Make us see stars!

Remember a few years back when the Republicans accused Al Gore of using "coded language" in his speeches that was directed to his "special interest" backers?

Well, here's the skinny on the Mystical Magic Wand that Hastert and other Republicans speak of.

Oh, wait... Who else, you say? Well, there's Poppy, who told "folks" in a town hall meeting during his last campaign that he wished he "had a magic wand," but didn't, so that meant healthcare costs would continue to rise. And except for some token "tax credits" (which, of course, I look forward to every tax season... but don't see anywhere in sight) there was nothing his Republican administration could do to help Americans suffering from the high cost of healthcare and the nightmarish mountain of confusing paperwork and runarounds it created under the Reagan-Bush legacy.

And there's Junior, who often speaks of a "magic wand" when it comes to things he can't quite fix...

• Like Iraq
• Like Iran
• Like North Korea
• Like the trade deficit with China
• Like skyrocketing gas prices
• Like his fucked up Medicare nightmare
• Like healthcare, in general (just like daddy)
• Like the loss of manufacturing jobs
• Like the stagnant stock market

Did I leave anything out?

Fristy recently used it, too, so it's probably coming from Hilary Swank, er Ken Mehlman, now in some pathetic faxed reel of shit that the RNC pumps out to its brownshirts every morning.

Honestly, now, here's the payoff. You know what this "magic wand" business is all about?

It's nothing more than coded Republican-speak that has a variety of meanings, principally, Fuck You.

It also doubles as the following:
• Go Away...
• I stopped listening to your question, so I'm pulling out the old magic wand...
• Do you think anybody important like me gives a shit about you?
• Is there somebody here with a bald head I can touch?
• What, I'm not your favorite guy?
• Maybe you didn't hear me the first time I said Fuck You.

Special thanks to Karie at LiberIL for the story.

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