Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Liberated Quail Hunting, The Sport of Queens.

Not the kind you find trolling Broadway. The Queens of historical significance. The Queens of England, for instance, love hunting quail. The 28 gauge shotgun does not have as much kick or powder as any other hunting rifle, which makes it a popular ladies sport.

Enter Dick "Dick" Cheney.

Cheney prefers what's technically known as "liberated hunts," which is what he was doing this past weekend at the Armstrong Ranch. That's where sometimes hundreds of fowl (bred specifically for this purpose) are turned loose and slaughtered by the hunting party.

I say slaughtered, because as many of my friends who hunt have told me, because the fowl, once released in this strange territory and terrain, are often confused and disoriented in their new surroundings, thus making them easy prey.

That's why when Cheney and Scalia were hunting together a few years ago with a party, Cheney was famously credited with shooting more than 70 quail. Close to 500 were released for the hunt; more than 400 were slaughtered. What's more, as many mallard and pheasant were also released and slaughtered.

With all that game flying about, why, one could even do it drunk. Which leads me to the theory that the Vice President was drinking during the hunt, and continued to drink that night, which is why he was under wraps.

Cheney's a drunk.

We know that he has the "disease of Kings." How fitting that he enjoys the sport of Queens, as well.

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