Dick Cheney. Gun Owner. NRA Member.

Shoots his quail hunting buddy's face off.

Jesus.

More than wondering if this is "Cheney's Chappaquiddick" (as it happens, the incident was reported a day after the real-life event), I'm wondering just what the hell you say to your friend after you've "peppered him pretty good" (yuk, yuk) about the face, neck and chest with your fucking shotgun.

How about these:

"Hope your your fucking face grows back..."

"Sorry I shot your face off..."

"Hope you're back hunting quail with us really soon..."

"Thanks for your campaign contributions, sorry I almost killed you..."

Look at these guys in the picture. What the hell are they thinking? "Oooooo. It's a gun! Gosh, it's beautiful." What the hell is it with these guys?

Losing Support, Hastert the Weak Caves on Patriot Act.

Another sign of disarray among the GOP House ranks, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert waited a full day after the White House and Senate Republicans announced their agreement on changes in the Patriot Act before giving it his blessing for the House.

If anyone needs more proof of disarray and weakness among Republicans, I don't know what it form it would come in to make it any clearer.

Here's a Topic for a New Senate Hearing.

Why is Norm Coleman such a prick?

Coleman is trying to out-lawyer Michael Brown, who has already revealed that the White House knew the severity of the destruction in NOLA after Katrina and did nothing.

It's All Over, Except For The Crying.

One of Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert's mentors, Dick "Dick" Cheney, really has his dick in the wringer tonight.

CNN is reporting that Scooter "Scooter" Libbey told the grand Jury that he was "authorized by his superiors" to leak classified information.


The National Journal goes a step further and puts the finger on Cheney.

How un-American is that, anyway? To have the Vice President of the United States authorizing the dissemination of classified information to the news media in order to destroy someone's credibility?

Let's hope Patrick Fitzgerald doesn't fall for the Nuremburg defense ("I was only following orders") and starts piling up the indictments.

Any chance we could see a "Vice President Denny Hastert" soon?

HaHaHahahahaha. Not a fucking chance!

CNN Finally Reporting My Sept. 1 Report.

When I reported to you, gentle readers, on September 1, 2005, that "Haley Barbour is a Lying Sack of Shit," Katrina was a fresh breeze still blowing up our skirts (not at all unlike what Haley Barbour does for a living).

CNN's Internet Reporter, Abbi Tatton, reported on the blog report today (not my blog, of course) but another blog with the NOAA storm path prediction model graphic I selected that week.

...proving once again that I am smarter than the average bear.

I Guess You Could Say That.

Incredibly, or maybe not so incredibly, this is the image I came up with moments ago while doing a Google image search for "bush speech" to go with the previous item.

Also less than incredible is the fact that the link comes from a soldier's page at Fort Bragg's site.

I never really thought about it, but I guess one of the president's speeches is kind of like having to watch a spindly dog try to fuck a monkey.

I'll never look at it any other way again.

Ruling With The Iron Grip of Fear.

One thing about this president is clear as a tinkling bell on a winter morning: George W. Bush and his incompetent tribe are such simpletons, you can always see the next move coming.

Today, we learned about a terrible plot, thwarted by a "southeast Asian nation," to use Asian shoe bombers to take over jetliners and fly them into buildings in L.A.

That's making a nation gripped with fear almost forget the false alarm in the Russell Senate Office Building last night.

Hastert Rewards DeLay With Cherry Post.

This is simply incredible. Instead of being banished after an indictment for money-laundering, among other charges, DeLay is now on the committee that will provide the oversight for the Justice Department's investigation of Jack Abramoff.

Batshit Crazy.

That's a term my father used to use for when things go really, really wrong. (That's two reallys)

I had my own encounter (the first and only, thank Gog) with radical fundamentalist Islamists when I was in college.

Not long after the hostages were taken at the US Embassy in Tehran, a group on my college campus sponsored a public meeting to discuss the situation from the perspective of followers of Ayatollah Khomeini.

What I witnessed that night was the craziest thing I've ever seen. It still stands today as my benchmark under the heading "Totally Batshit Crazy, Out of Fucking Control."


I noticed that several of the leaders of the group that sponsored the event were obvious imports. It was obvious because they made no secret of the fact that they were new to the campus, they wore jackets of other universities.

Before the meeting even started, there was bickering going on between factions of Iranian students. The opening speaker started off by issuing a tirade against the Shah. Certainly not a problem among the dozens of U.S. students attending. But the reaction to everything by the speaker met with constant heckling and shouting from a group of Iranian students who opposed the Ayatollah's return to Iran.

Before long, the long dufflebags I observed in the AV room adjacent to the stage in the auditorium where the meeting took place, were unzipped and pipes and baseball bats were being used on anyone and everyone in the room. I ran out like a chicken. No kidding. I wasn't going to get my brains beat out for being curious.


My "fight or flight" instincts prevailed. What I gained from that encounter is still a salient message today.

These guys probably didn't take dufflebags full of pipes and baseball bats to their meeting because they feared for their safety. They came loaded for bear. They felt they had been oppressed under the Shah, and in fact, they were.

But that didn't give them the right to beat the living hell out of anyone. I'm not sure, but I don't think there's anything in the Koran about justifying violent public outrage for, well, anything.

Nor does it give the people the right to make fun of or denigrate someone else's beliefs.

Here's a simple rule that's prevented me from going totally Batshit Crazy from time-to-time.
Don't get all wrapped up in your religion as if it's more important than anything else in the world. Someone else might have the same idea, but about a set of beliefs that's a little different from yours.

We have plenty of examples of this in our own culture. Let's not be stupid.


Oh, yeah. There was justice that night. The Office of Public Safety and the local police came and beat the living hell out of everyone remaining at the scene and put them all in jail for being Batshit Crazy In Public. I think that was the statute, anyway.

"Book of Daniel" Online...

This could be the start of something big.

While I was out (actually, I think right before I was away), NBC announced it was cancelling the new series "The Book of Daniel" because of low ratings and the public outcry the program stirred.

Don't believe for a minute it was ratings. "Cheers" had terrible ratings, but executives believed in the product and found ways to make it run on top for 11 seasons.

As the product of a Protestant household, and the former frequent date of a few "PK's" in my younger days, I don't think there was anything wrong at all with the program. It tells it much like it really is... in the real world.

Of course, "the church" today -- however you construe that term -- wants it all. Don't question the doctrine, the dogma, the belief in magical powers and all.

NBC has since announced that it will stream the final, unaired episodes of "The Book of Daniel" at nbc.com.

Do yourself, and the future of media, a big favor. Go over to nbc.com and view the final episodes. Then follow up with a letter to the network. Tell them you'd like them to resurrect (no pun intended) the series and offer it strictly over broadband and through iTunes.

You'll be helping to shape the media of the future. Where loudmouth assholes like Radical Fundamentalist Cleric James Dobson and his crew have no say in what you want to buy from the media.

Garrison Keillor.

Just read today's column in Salon or in print.

Keillor is undeniably one of the great voices of our time.

Not One Balanced Budget.

For those of you who have friends who like to argue with us "tax and spend Liberals," here's a factoid for you to kick around.

George W. Bush and the Gingrich-DeLay-Hastert Congress have not given you one, single balanced budget. Ever. Period.

What they have given you, however, is a national debt that will swell beyond $12 Trillion by the time Bush is gone in 2009.

What the...

Can someone explain how in the world the unemployment rate dropped 2/10 of a percent with 193,000 jobs created last month?

I'm on free wireless for a little while longer (another advantage of visiting Charlotte). Wish I had time to find a Robert Reich commentary somewhere.

What??

Did anyone hear Bush's Porter Wagoner quote earlier today in Nashville?

How cool would it have been to give a State of the Union speech in a Porter Wagoner outfit?

Jesus. How fucking insane is that?

GOP "Morning After" Screwing.

With George W. Bush's "major speeches," it's always worse the morning after, when the whole crew takes the "message to the people."

Here comes the real screwing. Don't buy it.

Here's the lyrics to the theme song:

Shake it up, shake it down
Move it in, twist it round, disco lady
Shove it in, pull it out, slide it in round about, disco lady
Jump on top, then go down
Astro-Glide all around, disco lady

Coverup: Kendall County Accident.

If you were involved in an accident in Kendall County on New Year's Eve, I would like to hear from you.

Same goes if you know someone who was in an accident; if the vehicle was struck by a pickup truck, please contact me at your earliest convenience.

Please don't drink and drive.

Cheers!

GOP Lie Machine Revs Up for More.

This seems to be everywhere today, which is part of our problem.

In our retail and services economy, media players lick their chops for nonsense like this.

And all it does is feed the juggernaut and propel us into a new round of senseless ad wars.

How many billions of dollars do people have to spend before we, as a nation, as the most powerful economy in the history of the world, realize the waste of it all?

Why in the world would I -- if I were a GOP supporter -- spend my money to spread this message around?

The "middle class tax cut" would easily be eaten away by such frivolous spending in our household.

And why would I not see that only those with money and a lust for power would play a part in this ugly game?

He Forgot About Mars.

The President of the United States would not forget a plan like Mars. Nosir.

If you're going to re-hash five years of nonsensical speeches made for TV, you should remember Mars.

Note to CNN:

Jesus Crimony. Fire JC Watts.

Who on planet earth had the idea to hire him as a "political analyst" in the first place?

If he has something important or some perspective to add to the discussion, that's one thing. Puking out talking points is another.

Start over.

Summary of Tonight's SOTU.

The Classic Rock side of me says go with Three Dog Night.

The angry part says go with the Rollins Band version, which is just so much more fun.

If you don't have iTunes, please get it. It's so much fun.

The title of both, and the one-word summary of tonight's speech:

Liar.