Friday Night Cock Pictures.

Were a little late. Sorry about that.

Look at this big juicy one.

Wet. Wet everywhere!

Great, Great Catch.

Great photo of Hastert ducking the press yesterday after a photo op in the Great Hydrogen Car Chase in D.C.

Readership seems to have dropped some at SB/C lately... must've all come over here. Welcome.

No cock pictures yet, btw.

"Look It, There's No Magic Wand..."

That's a direct quote from "J. Dennis" Hastert. Honest to Gog.

Ah, yes. The magic wand.

Oh, magical, Magic Wand! Make us see stars!

Remember a few years back when the Republicans accused Al Gore of using "coded language" in his speeches that was directed to his "special interest" backers?

Well, here's the skinny on the Mystical Magic Wand that Hastert and other Republicans speak of.

Oh, wait... Who else, you say? Well, there's Poppy, who told "folks" in a town hall meeting during his last campaign that he wished he "had a magic wand," but didn't, so that meant healthcare costs would continue to rise. And except for some token "tax credits" (which, of course, I look forward to every tax season... but don't see anywhere in sight) there was nothing his Republican administration could do to help Americans suffering from the high cost of healthcare and the nightmarish mountain of confusing paperwork and runarounds it created under the Reagan-Bush legacy.

And there's Junior, who often speaks of a "magic wand" when it comes to things he can't quite fix...

• Like Iraq
• Like Iran
• Like North Korea
• Like the trade deficit with China
• Like skyrocketing gas prices
• Like his fucked up Medicare nightmare
• Like healthcare, in general (just like daddy)
• Like the loss of manufacturing jobs
• Like the stagnant stock market

Did I leave anything out?

Fristy recently used it, too, so it's probably coming from Hilary Swank, er Ken Mehlman, now in some pathetic faxed reel of shit that the RNC pumps out to its brownshirts every morning.

Honestly, now, here's the payoff. You know what this "magic wand" business is all about?

It's nothing more than coded Republican-speak that has a variety of meanings, principally, Fuck You.

It also doubles as the following:
• Go Away...
• I stopped listening to your question, so I'm pulling out the old magic wand...
• Do you think anybody important like me gives a shit about you?
• Is there somebody here with a bald head I can touch?
• What, I'm not your favorite guy?
• Maybe you didn't hear me the first time I said Fuck You.

Special thanks to Karie at LiberIL for the story.

Spelling Telling...

Anyone ever think about all the ways you can spell the name Jon?

There's:
John
Johnnie
Johnny
Jon
Jonnie
Jonny

Oh, yes. There are also variants of Jonathon that one could use. Lookie:

Jonathan
Jonathon
Johnathan
Johnathon

Have I left any out? Anybody's welcome to, you know, search for the variants on the name and either email or pitch in in the comments.

TTFN!

Cheap Trick.

File the $100 Gas Rebate under the Senate file, "I Want You to Want Me."

What a cheap trick Republicans must think we are, playing such a cheap trick on us.

Oh, we must all be stupid, because we didn't know you were going to attach this to... ANWR oil production.

Truthout: Rove is a Target.

No, not a department store. Enough with the fat jokes, already!

Jason Leopold of Truthout reports that Karl Rove is, indeed, a target of Fitzgerald's investigation.

The Passion of the Bush.

Blumenthal in today's Salon.com:

...If the Democrats gain control of the House or Senate they will launch a thousand subpoenas to establish the oversight that has been abdicated by the Republican Congress.

It just doesn't get any better than that.

Ah, truth.

Dos Chicas.

Looks like I have sisters in the neighborhood!

The KC Quibbler has made its debut. Seems they also take issue with the Jim Birch Society, and the mismanagement they've perpetrated right out of the gate.

The "progressive counsel's" site is apparently updated, but they have not taken the time to post the updates to the official countywide party's site yet, according to the chicas.

You go, girls.

The Business of Government.

Is watching what I do.

Now, that's flattering!

Could be anybody, but I'd say half an hour looking at me is about enough.

Thanks for dropping in.

Denny Hastert's Do-Nothing Congress.

What a great job!

Congress is back in town after two grueling weeks "working at home," and they're all hard at... doing nothing.

As you can see from the schedule of business on the House floor, the Office of the Clerk isn't even up to date!

As prices of gasoline are skyrocketing and Iran is ramping up its rhetoric about leaving the United Nations, and another 35 U.S. Military personnel have died in Iraq since Congress went home, ostensibly, "to work," here are a couple of things you Heavy D and the Boyz could do today before going home.

• Call the Clerk to the floor of the House and request that the schedule of the nation's business become available to the public at once.

• Set aside all previously scheduled business for the day, which culminates in a resolution to honor the late Justic Rhenquist.

• Rescind the current Energy Bill, 2/3 of which was set aside as a $9 Billion corporate welfare program for energy companies.

• Rescind all legislation that provides future welfare payments to Big Oil over the next 10 years, which will save tens of billions more in lost revenue and outright payments for long-term research initiatives.

• Call the President and tell him to rescind his executive order which stops deposits into the Federal Strategic Oil Reserve.

• Craft meaningful legislation that defines "price gouging" at both the wholesale and retail levels, which can be used as the basis for a national approach to this problem.

That's all for now. That should take a couple of hours, which is apparently more than you fuckers can work in one stretch without lining your own suit pockets and those of your corporate special interests with my money.

Pope Urges Study of Condoms.

Aside from the fact that he probably could probably get this done with his own clergy (bidda-dee-boom), we may only be a few centuries behind on the study.

Perhaps the Vatican should talk to the Bushes next time they're in town to have their picture taken with him.

By the end of this century, we may actually have a church institution ready to think about maybe talking about sex.

Maybe.

Yeesh.

President Phucquewithe.

Bush is currently talking at the Renewable Fuels Association. The first part of his talking dealt with oil. Oil, ANWR, oil.

ANWR will reduce the price of oil by 50 cents per barrel, he says. What he didn't say is that ANWR will take years to come online. He didn't say that oil rose by more than 50 cents per barrel last Friday morning alone.

He's finally on the subject of Ethanol, and you can tell he's not only irritated by the overwhelming response. He has no fucking clue what he's talking about.

Fuckwit.

Schmucker Carlson: Screw College.

You don't need it!

This is just the latest big thing from Republicans. Not everybody needs college. Stop worrying about it!

What's at the core of this GOP "Let's Trim College Ranks" rant:
Black people? Forget it! You there... Mexican? Don't even think about it.

That's what.

It seems that every time they roll this out, it flops.

When will Republicans learn?

Limbaugh Joining White House?

News is breaking that Tony Snow of Fox News has been offered the job of White House Press Secretary.

Hell, if President 32% can hire Tony Snow, colon cancer and all, to be his press secretary, why not?

Is there a post available for Bill O'Reilly, too?

Which One Of These Things...

Sound best?

President 32 percent

President 60% Say Fuck You

President Fuckwit.

Sorry. You'll have to get your own link on the last one. Shouldn't be that hard.

Token Maneuver.

This is just getting so old.

Of couse, we won't have to worry about this stuff when we have those new Hydrogen Fuel Cell Cars.

In 2030.

It's clear that Congress does not have its priorities mixed up.

It's day-to-day priorities are simply doing damage, and doing damage control. Nothing else.

Hastert's Congress at 23%.

No fucking kidding?

Do you think we're on the wrong track? Gee... Dunno.

This is a great piece. Especially since this story is from the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram.

You know, where there supposedly aren't any Democrats.