Garrison Keillor.

Pure Genius. In tomorrow's Salon.com.

Potato... Po-tah-to...

Democrats talk about energy, economic and environmental issues, and Republicans continue to drag the queers up on stage for a gangbang.

Oh, yeah. There's your leading by example thing.

While all the important things in the world go completely unnoticed by the Republicans holding your government hostage, nothing at all productive is getting done.

And The Beat Goes On...

More than 6,000 dead in Baghdad this year alone.

Horrific.

Denny Hastert: Accountable To No One.

Salon's War-Room today reports a report from the Center for Public Integrity, American Public Media and Northwestern University's Medill News.

Among the juicy bits in the War-Room piece:

It's good work if you can get it. And some members -- most of them Republican in the House of Representatives -- were really good at getting it. The offices of nine Republicans and two Democrats accepted more than $350,000 each in free travel. The big trippers: House Energy and Commerce Committee Chair Joe Barton (R-Texas), House Majority Whip Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas), House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Rep. Gregory Meeks (D-N.Y.), Rep. Michael Oxley (R-Ohio), former Rep. W.J. Tauzin (R-La.), Rep. Bill Thomas (R-Calif.), Rep. Robert Wexler (D-Fla.), and Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska).

While most of the trips don't violate any laws, the report finds numerous ethical violations -- and that's even after you make the rather dubious assumption that all of the trips were legitimately related to the members' official duties in Congress. Among the problems: Although ethics rule bar congressional trips paid for by firms registered to lobby the government, the report finds that such firms sponsored a portion or all of at least 90 trips worth approximately $145,000.

That, my dear friends, is what we call dirty money where I come from.

Welcome, Beelzebub!

...lord of flies.

Today is the day many of us have figured George W. Bush and Fristy-Hastert would push the button to launch the Official End of the World, for this is Six-Six-Six (06/06/06).

Oh, my Goodness. We'll have to see what happens. I'll be sitting in the shade today waiting it out with the bomb shelter kit at my side.

Welcome, Beelzebub!

...lord of flies.

Today is the day many of us have figured George W. Bush and Fristy-Hastert would push the button to launch the Official End of the World, for this is Six-Six-Six (06/06/06).

Oh, my Goodness. We'll have to see what happens. I'll be sitting in the shade today waiting it out with the bomb shelter kit at my side.

Here We Go Again.

Watch news today as Republicans prepare to roll out the centerpiece of the November campaign: The Constitutional Amendment to Ban Gay Marriage.

And watch as Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert gobbles this up again like so many hot, buttered pancakes at IHOP.

Of course, if it weren't for dumb shit like this, nothing would get done in Washington.

So where's your "Party of National Security" now?

Picking on queers again.

Wow.

Build the Canada Wall!

Never seen this sort of thing happen in Mexico.

Oh, never mind. They weren't going to cause us harm. They were going to blow up Canada.

Better the streets of Montreal and Toronto than Yorkville, Chicago and Anytown, USA.

Why Do Republicans Shit On Our Veterans?

Sorry. Can't really ask the question in any other way that gets to the point.

Between this story and this one, and this one, you have to wonder when the Royal Fucking of our Veterans will end.

If you didn't know, or you've never been there, The Lakeside facility was once the premier VA hospital in the United States, with staff sharing duties across the street at Northwestern.

Some of the best doctors and the brightest interns in the world were accessible for free to our veterans. No more. Now, if you live in the third-largest city on the continent, you have to wait for a bus and get hauled through gangland to go to the clinic for a blood screening.

Yeah. Just Like The American Revolution.

Hastert in Baghdad yesterday:

"As a history teacher for 16 years before coming to Congress, I know how difficult it was for our country, more than 200 years ago, to establish a working democracy. There is much here that remains to be done. And, it will continue to require sacrifice and patience from the Iraqi and American people.

The news from Baghdad this morning

According to police, witnesses at the scene told them than gunmen opened fire on a car that belonged to the Russian Embassy in west Baghdad's upscale Mansour district. Interior Ministry Lt. Col. Falah al-Mohamedawi said one person was killed in the incident, which took place just outside the embassy.

The Russian consul in Baghdad told Russia's RIA Novosti news agency that one Russian diplomat had been killed and four abducted.

Of course, things like this did not happen during our own Revolution.

Friday Afternoon Cock Pictures.

While many of you are at work, I'm off today, with my feet in the pool as I stroke this big beautiful guy's head.

And I'll bet you're all so jealous...

Oh, yes. I've actually gone completely insane. Stickers are 25% off through Monday at the store, where we've had a record 166 visits already today!

Get 'em while they last...

Blogger Crap.

While Blogger finishes pinching a big loaf, I'm not able to clean up that last post. Sorry 'bout that.

See you in a little while, I hope.

Here, however, is more good news on the economy, while you wait...

Anyone else find it amazing that the jobs report sucked and the unemployment rate went down?

I want to know Robert Reich's opinion of why this is happening.

Denny & The Wrecking Crew.

In a brilliant PR move designed to parrot the President's daily, petulant remarks about how bad --but really, really good-- things are going in Iraq, Speaker of the House Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert made the following remarks a little while ago to a small crowd secured by 200 heavily armed security forces with air cover:

"On behalf of the United States House of Representatives, I am pleased to be here in Baghdad and to bring greetings to our brave men and women serving here in Iraq. The United States is grateful for your service. We know that your efforts are keeping this battle off American streets and off American soil. We in Congress are committed to giving our fighting men and women all the tools they need to get the job done. Part of the reason for my visit is to find out first-hand just what they
do need.
...
"As a history teacher for 16 years before coming to Congress, I know how difficult it was for our country, more than 200 years ago, to establish a working democracy. There is much here that remains to be done. And, it will continue to require sacrifice and patience from the Iraqi and American people.

So, I guess the message is pretty much:

"Thank you for getting slaughtered by the hundreds in your homes, on your streets, on your way to the fucking fruit stand, and in your houses of worship, so we don't have to. And by the way, I have never sacrificed anything in my entire, fat, privileged life, and don't intend to start now. And surely not now that I'm about to retire rich from this government job where I've done virtually nothing but travel and live very well on the public dole for 20 years.

"So when I say I'm here to find out what our boys and girls need, I'm not going to take your fucking questions about lack of armor or troops, or the fact that some of these poor, stupid bastards signed away a hell of lot more than they were bargaining for when they signed up for Guard and Reserve duty. I'm not looking for anything while I'm here, except for a size XXXXL Kevlar vest with shoulder pads and maybe a fucking tungsten carbide wall to hide behind while I'm here. I'm here for the photo-op and to maybe change the miserable news coverage all of the scandals I'm sitting on might otherwise get over the weekend.

Oh, yeah, that and:

"I should be able to find that reference to the British-loving insurgents who blew up entire lineages of families while they sat peacefully in the church of their choice during and after the American Revolution, but it never really happened that way."

Hastert made a "surprise trip" to Baghdad today along with fellow Illinoisan on the public dole Ray LaHood (R-Big Al's in Peoria) (who looks positively more awful every time I see him in public), and two other Republican Mouth-breathing Goofs from the House.

The trip was secret until this morning because it's not safe for anyone to be going there, lest they be shot out off the fucking horizon (although Democracy is Marching Forward over there).

Hastert Breaks Record.

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert Thursday broke the record for the most jelly donuts consumed
longest number of days between sugar binges and an insulin shot
longest period of time in a political leadership role without doing a God-Damned thing

longest-serving Republican House Speaker, a feat achieved several times in the 20th century alone by Democrats.

Denny Hastert's America.

$3 gasoline as far as the eye can see.

After shilling a ridiculous corporate welfare-style energy policy -- and getting it with no debate.

Get fucking used to it. Until November 7, 2006.

Dog Handler Guilty.

Not the TV kind.

What makes me crazy is that there's still not one word from these greedy cocksuckers at the American Snob Club about the whole incident, like, oh, maybe condemning the fact that dogs were used in the torture of prisoners.

This is like black uniform stuff, using dogs in a wet basement to fucking terrorize people.

I don't care who they are; seal them in a pit and shit on them. Just don't fucking terrorize people with dogs to do the dirty work.

Maybe some AKC suck-up dog goody-goody like Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert, himself a purebreed dog owner for years, might step up and say something.

Nah, who the fuck am I kidding...

Most Holy of Bovine Specimens.

Holy Cow. I mean Holy Fucking Cow.

I've just finished RFK Jr.'s exposé on Election 2004 and the mysterious vote count in Ohio.

Robert Francis Kennedy Junior for President in 2008.

34% Call Bush Worst President.

( via Buzzflash ) Quinnipiac poll shows most call Bush "worst president" in last 61 years.

Is that all?

Re-reading Rude.

Got to love the Rude One.

If you're not a regular reader, you're missing out on some very, very well written modern day prose.

I've Gone Electric.

Commercial. Whatever.

Now, you're probably asking: "Hey, Where can I get me summa these?"

Why, at the new 50 Miles Out Store, that's where.

Order Liberally. These begin shipping next week, and they won't last.

Help launch the next Revolution.

I Am So Totally There.

Hunkered down for the summer. Hoping for the best.

Denny Hastert's America.

Where the water that comes from your tap is a commodity. A private plaything of the rich.

Not a right, but a privilege. For those who can afford to pay.

Don't let it happen.

Raise Hell.

Diesel: The New Premium Fuel.

Anyone notice the price of Diesel fuel is hanging high? At about $3/gal., it's no wonder the Dow is off 180 points today, and prices of everything are creeping higher.

One way or another, Big Oil will have another lame excuse for the ridiculously high cost of our new "premium" fuel blend.

What once was the "cheaper" fuel, made almost exclusively for big, heavy work vehicles, Diesel has been consistently higher than regular for months.

If you don't look at this stuff regularly, get ready for some totally insane numbers.

Out of Control.

And out of touch.

With a situation this bad, there's no "good" answer to this question. Another reason why this crowd needs to go.

Question of the Day.

Why do Right Wing Bloggers hate our troops in uniform?

50MO Mentum.

As you can see from the updated counter in the right rail, 50 Miles Out literally blew past 15,000 this week, as we had our biggest week ever.

That's right, people. Thanks to the BuzzFlash referral scored last week, more than 3,300 visitors stopped in the past seven days alone.

A Sobering Reminder This Memorial Day.

CBS Reporter Kimberly Dozier is in critical condition after a car packed with explosives blew up, killing her veteran cameraman and soundman, as well as a U.S. Soldier. Six other U.S. Servicemen were also wounded when the car bomb exploded.

As the president lays a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington, we're given a sobering reminder that Iraq is a deadly zone for journalists who are there to bring us the truth.

The Proverbial One-Car Funeral.

For the last two or three people left on the face of the earth who didn't think Rumsfeld & Co. were capable of fucking up a one-car funeral, I kindly submit:

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) -- A deadly traffic accident Monday involving U.S. troops sparked the worst riot in the Afghan capital since the fall of the Taliban. At least eight people were killed and 107 injured, an official said.

Hundreds of Afghan army troops and NATO peacekeepers in tanks deployed around the city, as protesters chanting "Death to America" marched on the presidential palace and rioters smashed police guard boxes and set fire to police cars.

Perhaps someone needs to consult a team of divorce attorneys, who have a great deal of experience with such matters.

It's never about the runaway truck. This was a mission completely fucked up by incompetence at the top.

Is it FOX News?

You've just got to wonder if FOX News is maybe killing these people -- maybe it's MSNBC -- to keep a steady stream of really important stories in the news that might keep our minds off how really fucked up things are right now.

Fristy Splits With Hastert On FBI Raids.

What a complete mooshy goofball this little weenie is.

I say let's have a go at Fristy's office to see if we find any cat bones lying around.

We're the ASPCA, God Damn It. Get out of the way.

Unbelievable Stupidity.

I've heard some arguments on the other side of the aisle saying, well, if you had -- if you earn $40,000 a year, you wouldn't get a very big tax cut. Well, folks, if you earn $40,000 a year and have a family of two, you don't pay any taxes. So you probably -- if you don't pay any taxes, you are not going to get a big tax cut. Now, if you earn $1 million a year, you are going to pay about $400,000 of taxes. Maybe you'll get a $40,000 tax cut, maybe. But look at the math. But I am saying, those are relative things.

Think about it: this man "educated" a generation of young people from Yorkville, Illinois in his last career.

Sweet Jesus.

The Pale. The Freak Show.

Watching the parade of freaks in $99 suits line up on the House floor to defend Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is about all I can take for one night.

Fortunately for you, gentle reader, CSPAN is offline. Elst I would give you a video link.

WTF? CSPAN?

The Appropriate Response.

ABC has, in effect, told The Speaker to pound sand. No retraction. Good.

What else can you say to the "third most powerful" politician in America when he threatens to sue you for libel? I can think of a couple good ones.

Perhaps a dictionary might help here:

Stupid ( STYOO • pid ) adj.
Any elected public official who does not understand that the media is exempt from libel charges unless said public official can prove malice aforethought in the writ.

Useless (YOOS • less) adj.
Advisor to previously mentioned public figure who allows same to go in front of a microphone without aid of tranquilization and/or muzzling.

Heh, Heh, Heh...

Brad Friedman isn't buying the old "you'd better retract that story" business, either.

Triple Heh Squared.

More Microsoft Fantasy.

If MS has their way, JPG would be replaced with the "Windows Media Photo" format.

How fucking ridiculous. This story would have been better placed in the "Offbeat News" rather than the Tech category.

And we're still holding our breath for that PDF replacement Bill Gates was bragging about a couple years ago.

Oh, yeah. And the iPod's days are just about over, because everyone is going to want to do everything on a phone licensed by Microsoft.

Evil. I Love It.

The Evil Reverend promises news today on the Last Boy Scout.

Oh, my. What a very big day.

I may have to take a nap before checking back in with the Rev.

Hastert Under FBI Eyes.

ABC News led tonight with a blockbuster: Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert Is Under Investigation By The FBI In The Ongoing Abramoff Probe.

I can't believe they got enough info out to get it out this week.

Hooray for the good guys: a free press.

Oh, Goody! A Showdown!

We're just teeming with Cowgirl and Cowboy pride here today, anxiously awaiting the first Constitutional Showdown of the Final Bush-Fristy-Hastert Administration.

I love watching Republicans eat each other!

I'm just as interested as the bald-headed serpent is about Jefferson's explanation of what $90,000 in cash was doing in his freezer.

That must make it especially hard for Hastert to step in, but Denny's absolutely right on on this one. Plus, he's likely a little worried about what it would do to morale -- not to mention some of his own kind -- if he were to stand idle on yet another critically important issue.

Welcome BuzzFlash Readers.

I've noticed a large spike in readership with a number of Buzzers and Flashers joining my little house party.

Thanks for stopping in. Please bookmark me and come on back. It gets funner in the next week or two.

Stooge On Stage.

Today's Highlights Quiz: Can you spot the stooge in this picture?

Here's a tip: It's a trick question.

Answers to the Quiz: If you guessed the large person on the left with the big red face, you're right!

Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert is the Speaker of All Stooges for warmly welcoming President Bush after the latter fired his good friend, Porter Goss (a former member of the FL congressional delegation, from a safe district), after Goss did the preznit's dirty work.

That Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert would warmly welcome this man to Chicago (in front of a trade group whose members employ an estimated 600-700,000 illegal immigrants) was simply remarkable.

But if you guessed the smirking figure of emptiness on the right, you're also correct!

That this fellow would dare to think for a moment that his campaign speech for war would be warmly welcomed in Chicago shows what kind of an empty-headed idiot he is, as well!

Thanks for playing the Highlights Quiz today!

Hastert Spinners Busy.

My Goodness. And when you're as Good as Me, it should be capitalized.

What busy little beavers we have at the Speaker's multi-million-dollar communications war-room.

Three big press releases this week, and the Speaker has shown his privates.

My Goodness.

Ever Wonder...

How many times Republicans have really lied? Get a pretty good idea here.

Credit Where Credit Is Due.

Buzzflash contacted me today to take exception to my earlier comment:

Thankfully, Buzzflash is finally taking on this buffoon for what he is; a clueless, oafish dolt.

Actually, it was probably the "'Bout Time" heading that pissed them off, and rightfully so.

Sorry, Buzzflash dudes. And I can't believe I didn't have you linked in the blogroll until today!

Christ, I'm sorry again. Buzzflash has, indeed, brought quite a number of Hastertisms to light.

What I should have said is that they're about the only ones.

UPI Story On Hastert: Wrong!

Totally fucking wrong. Saying Hastert is about to become the longest-serving Speaker in history is like saying that Joe Martin was a great Speaker.

Who? You ask?? Exactly.

The longest-serving Speaker in the history of the Republic was the great Samuel Rayburn, who led the House of Representatives through nearly all of the 1940s and 1950s, and served a total of more than 17 years. Rayburn also holds the distinction of being elected by his peers more than any other Speaker - 10 times. He died not long after his last election.

Joe Cannon, cited in the errant UPI piece, was the longest-serving Republican House Speaker prior to Hastert's tenure.

In all, 4 Democrats can claim 8 or more years as Speaker. Ahem.

In the 20th century alone.

Champ Clark served as Speaker from 1911-1919, and (undid much of Joe Cannon's misdeeds and power grab for the Speakership).

Rayburn served as Speaker from '40-'47, '49-'53, and from '55 until his death in 1961.

John McCormack served from '61-'71, and The Speaker, Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill, served from '77-'87.

Democrats led the house and held the Speakership for 62 years of the 19th century, and for an astounding 70 years of the 20th century.

It's also important to note that old Smokin' Joe Cannon was first turned on to politics as a young man by another Illinois Republican politician - Abraham Lincoln. Putting the pieces together on this yet?

In our third century as a nation, only two Republicans have led the House for 8 years. Joe Cannon and Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert. Two forgettable names in history.

There's your story. Ouch. And your history lesson, UPI.

Stupid fuckers.

'Bout Time.

Buzzflash riffs on Hastert's idiotic comments about how people like you and I "don't pay any taxes." Good analysis.

Thankfully, Buzzflash is finally taking on this buffoon for what he is; a clueless, oafish dolt.

HEY, DENNY...

If you've ever had insomnia, or long-term bouts with it, you know the middle-of-the-night drill: search for a channel that's not showing the latest "Girls Gone Wild" video peeks.

Now comes the "Boys Gone Wild" videos, to be fair to the ladies.

So this, dear friends, is what I call the equivalent of the answer to a line that might go something like this:

"HEY, DENNY... SHOW US YOUR BALLS!"

For a change, I'll actually compliment the fat man for having his minions pen the letter.

But know there's plenty of nervousness behind it. Allowing the FBI to do this without any type of collegial approach is like asking to have all the offices tapped and telling the members they have nothing to fear if they "haven't done anything wrong..."

Baseball and Sex.

Know that old maxim about men and how they should think about baseball when having sex. You know, to sort of "extend the pleasure?"

Guess it goes without saying that if you don't have anything better to talk about, start with baseball and ease into... something else.

Sorry for the ugly image with that last line.

Against Better Judgment.

A couple weeks ago, when I posted pictures of those hot chicks with my regular feature, friday afternoon cock pictures, it was against my own better judgment.

Some things should be sacred. Then again, who doesn't want to see some of this on a Friday night?

Let's just call this one "Hot pussy picture number one."

Friday Evening.

And time for at least one big fat cock picture.

Running Scared?

What the Hell has gotten into the Christian faith? Is everyone afraid of the message that The DaVinci Code delivers?

Whatever you think of what's going on with the opening of this very interesting piece of fiction at the theaters, there seems to be an undercurrent of fear among church officials, unlike anything I've ever seen.

USA Today.

And Gannett's attorneys should tell Bell South to go fuck themselves.

Oh, here... let me.

John Roberts: Smooth.

Not the Supreme Justice (yeah, whatever). The Reporter/Anchor for CNN.

Boy, that looks and sounds good, doesn't it? Good for CNN to get him.

If you're not watching Larry King now, tune in later to catch the way Roberts handles the all-Republican lineup tonight. Very smooth.

Call the Cleaners.

Anyone else notice that often, Gen. Hayden's uniform appears to be black?

Anyone else notice that might actually be an appropriate color of uniform for this guy?

Somebody might want to lighten the blue a bit in those AF unis.

What's Wrong With America.

What's wrong with America is not that gay people want to get married, and you know, force all of us to become gay.

What's wrong with America is not that the government meddles too much with business, because Jesus knows businesses need to have all the leverage in the world in order to make money. And what's good for Business is By-God good for you. And God-Damn It, God will strike down the anti-capitalist.

What's wrong with America is not that we need to limit the rights of individuals to seek reparations through the courts when they've been wronged by medical malpractice or insurance fraud.

What's wrong with America is not that we have all those "worthless IOUs" sitting in a mythical file cabinet called Social Security.

What's wrong with America is not that we have to allow members of congress to fraternize with and accept loads of gifts and bribes from lobbyists (whose ranks include thousands of collegial family members, personal friends and former congressional colleagues).

What's wrong with America is that Fristy Hastert keeps freezing the wheels of government with utter bullshit like this, so nothing responsible is getting done in the halls of government.

Gonzales Criminal?

Dunno. It's just not clear, he says himself. What a bright, shiny example Rep. Senselessbrenner would make of "our nation's chief law enforcement officer."

One thing is clear. If we're going to felonize undocumented foreign workers who remain in the country, we should make that law retroactive, then immediately deport the descendants of those who entered this country illegally in the first place.

Uh, just from Mexico, though. They're the worst.

And, of course, we would exempt those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

"Mr. President, Tear Down This Wall..."

Can't you just hear that? If built, I'm sure we'll hear it from a Mexican president one day, about the 370 miles of triple-layer walls the Senate wants built along the U.S.-Mexican border.

Hint: This would make a great question for Hastert, press people. "What do you think of the Senate plan to build the wall along the border, Mr. Speaker?"

Another Question: "Where do you stand on your friend, Rep. Sensenbrenner's ever-stiffening position to exclude any form of 'amnesty' for undocumented workers, and to felonize those who are currently here without the proper papers?"

Although I'd like to propose a St. Louis Wall (or better yet, an Indiana wall) the illustration is for those of you who dabble in geography. 370 miles is a long fucking way, and it's going to be backed up with 500 miles of auto barriers.

That's 870 miles of fear factor. The route on this map, Chicago to St. Louis is just under 300 miles, for comparison.

I'm so glad the grown-ups are in charge again.

Dirty, God-Damned Mexicans.

Go ahead. Say it. Get used to it.

The Senate approved today a fence for a portion of the border with Mexico because we're worried that:

• People will come to the U.S. to work, without paying taxes, often for less than minimum wage, without proper documentation.
• People will "take away" jobs from Americans who might better take those great jobs (see above).
• Terrorists are brown people, and so are Mexicans, and they all look alike to fat old white guys.

I just read today that the U.S. Navy sunk a mothballed aircraft carrier to make a coral reef in the Gulf of Mexico.

Now, that's fucking genius.

So why don't we just line up a bunch of fucking old aircraft carriers and put them end-to-end on the border? We could just make the border a big fucking junk pile like Fred Sanford's front yard or something.

Sorry. Wrong ethnic slur.

Like on Chico and the Man.

What the Hell are we going to do, though, when the Canadians get brown people who can slip across their border?

Dirty, God-Damned Brown People.

Let Them Eat Each Other.

There's trouble in Paradise, if you believe anything this liar, Lying Bob Novak, conjures up.

Very funny read. Especially when we're led to believe Hastert actually showed some balls and stood up to Cheney.

Of course, all of this was nicely handled in a special calm-down session at the White House, with the President of the United States presiding over the Speaker he had "summoned."

Let's be clear about something: the only reason any of this would have happened is because Goss was in a Republican-crafted "safe district."

Remember, this is a no-holds-barred, don't-give-an-inch crowd in power.

Silence Is Telling.

Ever notice how the silence of some "folks" is telling? Especially when you could easily compare it to the kind of complacency and "I-was-just-following-orders" kind of shit the Nazis used as a defense at Nuremburg.

Why, for instance, hasn't the House launched an investigation into this kind of twisting of the law?

Salon today pointed to a ThinkProgress piece which explained that Bush empowered John Negroponte, the Spy Chief in Chief in Charge of Torture Squads and Diplomacy, with the ability to allow the telecoms to lie without lying. Sort of.

See? Without such circumspection and deliberation, it just makes it all the more likely that such abuses will occur again and again. Completely unchecked.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the mistaken impression again that we're living in a Democracy.

I need a drink.

Taking A Big Dump

Today's roulette table stock market sell-off is an indication that even the market is beginning to wake up.

Remember that rate increase passed last week by the Fed? Yep. That one... the sixteenth in a row.

Think we're going to have a problem with inflation? Oh, hell... oops.

Inflation caught everyone by surprise today! Oh, no!

Everyone but those of us who buy bread and eggs and butter and milk and gasoline (none of which are included in the CPI calculation, if you didn't know that) seems to have missed the inflation thing.

Meanwhile, Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert and his wrecking crew have just had their centerpiece tax underhaul cockily signed by the president today. That big, big tax cut you were expecting (it's tax relief "for all Americans," right)? $30 per household, on average, for 99.8 percent of America.

2/10 of one percent of the country, however, will rake in about $42,000 in tax cuts.

Hooray and a big Hi Ho-Fuck You for the rest of you who are now 50 Miles Out of the Loop.

Worth The Price of Admission.

Get a Salon subscription today for great writing like this:

With just six months until the 2006 midterms, a grown man who can cry may be just what the president needs.

Baby, if that's not worth the price of admission to Salon's content, I don't know what is.

Denny Hastert's Thin Veil of Demagoguery.

Thinner than paper. This "Speaker" is nothing without the demagoguery.

Just look at this "statement" on the tax bill sent to Bush for signing, which gives away another $70 billion of income that your kids and grandkids might have better used to, I dunno, live their middle-class lives.

Great Description of Hastert!

By a noted, well-read, heavily-published Conservative, Kevin Phillips.

Under the Constitution, the resignation of Bush and Cheney would hand the presidency to the Speaker of the House of Representatives, at present Dennis Hastert, a former high school wrestling coach, well liked but manifestly less than qualified for promotion.

Heh! The problem with being well liked, I suppose, is that it doesn't cover up your utter stupidity.

Despicable At Any Speed.

Tony Snow's play of the "Cancer Card" today has provided him with the break he needed.

At the end of his first press conference, where he did nothing more than lay down the ground rules without sharing any useful information, Snow was asked about surviving his battle with cancer.

So now, CNN and Fox can legitimately replay this bullshit every 10 minutes (as they've done all afternoon).

Life Is Good.

Especially when you...
• Have a pension that's equal to or greater than your current annual salary, and the hardest thing you ever had to do for it was weekend travel.
• You were able to duck the military at a time when many of your contemporaries were getting killed in uniform.
• Your two sons will never serve in the military.
• You've secured cherry jobs for same in the Money Capital you've created, so they'll never have to work hard in life. Just like you.
• You don't really have any decisions to make, because you're in a great job where you can just do what you're told by others.
• Those same cronies will protect your ass if you're found out.
• Can respond like this after a presidential edict, and not face any scrutiny or questions yourself.

Sanity on Vacation.

Of undertermined length.

Seeing Tony Snow conducting a White House press conference is like watching a sick cartoon of life.

If there was anyone remaining -- within the 29% of those who still approve of this president -- who believed any of the nonsense that the administration put out day after day, they must have all gone away quietly by now.

Notice the coffee cup on the lectern... Not smart for a guy who's missing a colon.

Fristy. Smacked Down By Dems.

Way to go, Blue.

Fristy's "Health Care Week" is shot to ribbons. Heh.

This from Harry Reid after all three miserable pieces of legislation failed in cloture votes:

"To think with American consumers paying over 3 dollars for gas, with college tuition moving beyond the reach of many in the middle-class, with the Iraq war dead approaching 2,500, with immigration a security crisis unresolved, with our country’s deficit standing at 9 trillion dollars, with 46 million Americans lacking health care coverage, we are moving to bills that are unnecessary and go nowhere," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) .
"These two bills are put here as a result of the insurance industry and don't represent a serious attempt to improve health care or the civil justice system in our country."

Only A Blowjob...

The inimitable Doug Thompson sets the record straight on what the country really needs right now.

Good piece.

Macs and Voice Over Internet.

Just read something online today about the encryption applied to iChat sessions between Mac users. Fascinating stuff I've never really used, even tho it's always on my computer.

This, coupled with the fact that President Robespierre is paranoid about anyone talking about him, have me convinced that it's time to pull the phone out of the wall and go to voice over IP technology and/or do iChats from now on.

There is no way the president can justify what's going on with the procurement of all of our phone records.

No fucking way.

Being Well-Read.

I take (at least some) pride in being well-read. Which is why I'm posting this important spread of George Michael, asleep at the wheel, from the News of the World website.

Looks really attractive, don't you think?

See. You've got to keep up with what's going on in the world...

Masterful.

Life's a bitch when you lie in bed, not feeling well, and tend to sleep through the really good stuff.

Thankfully, there's Crooks & Liars, where I just caught up with President Al Gore's address to the nation Saturday night.

Time For An Investigation.

It's time, once and for all, for a large-scale Congressional investigation of the Bush administration's abuses of power.

The straw that finally crushed the camel, whose back was broken when the White House began outing CIA operatives as part of their plan to push people around, is the mining of trillions of phone calls to "recognize calling patterns."

This is absolute nonsense. In conversations with my techie friends over the past weekend, every single one said this would be absolutely impossible. There is no way you can identify anyone or what they're up to by a pattern of phone activity. Unless you're after something else.

Like spying on reporters.

Now comes the story from ABC reporters Brian Ross and Richard Esposito that high-level government officials have told them to get new cell phones - and quick.

How long before we start torturing or prosecuting reporters for reporting the truth about this administration?

Where does this end, Denny? How about some oversight, once and for fucking all.

Now You Know Where The Smirk Came From...

Send this sonofabitch to jail. ThinkProgress has a great snippet of Rove's latest "fuck you" to a straightforward question about his involvement in outing a CIA operative for political gain.

Cocksucker.

Note to local media who stop by here fairly often: Why don't you ask Mr. Speaker what he thinks about all of this next time he's in town? Beats asking him the same questions about how he likes living in the woods, and what his favorite color is...

Just sayin'...

Rove this Rover Like He's Never Been Roved...

Truthout has the inside scoop on the indictment of Karl Rove, likely coming today.

Gosh... Anybody wonder why the WH spent last Friday hastily arranging tonight's speech on National Guard deployment to "secure our border" with Mexico?

What the hell are these crazy fuckers going to do when Cheney gets sent up the river? Bomb Canada?

Dennis Prager.

Cock-Sucking Lackey Extraordinaire.

Dennis Prager says "Thank God" NSA has collected information on trillions of phone records.

Watch the replay of tonight's Larry King (Gog help us), hosted tonight by John Roberts.

Hooray for the ACLU.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I'm Baaaaack!

Well, sort of.

I will avoid at any cost giving the details, which might give me up. Let's just say it was something beyond my control, and had I blogged the last several days, I would have been noticed. Nuff said.

I'm able to blog again, but only at about 50%. More later.

Thanks to the many who sent me emails of concern. I just wasn't able to respond until now.

Thans so much.

Twenty Nine Percent.

Bitchin'.

Yeah, baby. President 29 Percent.

Also note that Hastert's Wrecking Crew is at an all-time low 18%. Heh.

Take a look at the table, as well. Note that about the time W. was proclaiming his impending expenditure of "political capital" his big fucking "mandate" was right at 50%. Cocksucker.

The really great thing about a Democracy is that we get to participate, and that regular people get to say, "Oh, yeah, Asshole?" Which is pretty much why this petulent little prick is at 29%.

Heh again.

Hey, Ron Bonjean.

Can't you buy a new fucking verb with your salary?

US News Wire: Speaker Hastert Hails New Job Growth; More than 138,000 Jobs Created in April

Oh, by the way... Why are we "hailing" disappointing numbers like these? Analysts expected 200,000.

Hooray for Steve Johnson...

of the Chicago Tribune, who writes:

Like all of the postings on Hastert's "blog" (speaker.house.gov/journal/index.shtml), which he began in October, the new post was a fairly generic recap of what's been going on in the House, viewed through GOP-colored glasses. "We had another busy week here in the House of Representatives," it says.

It's written with all the warmth and personal appeal of a mass Christmas letter ...

I can't believe our taxes actually pay for emails being sent out to the media announcing "The Speaker has a new posting on his blog!"

What the Queen of Fuck is this world coming to?

Hastert, Sensenbrenner: We're Better Than Egypt.

Oh, Great!

I'll sleep well tonight knowing that the one thing in Egypt for illegal aliens that would be worse than the Hastert/Sensenbrenner "Illegal Felon Alien Act" might possibly be along the lines of fist fucking prisoners.

Who makes this shit up for the AP, anyway?

Friday Night Cock Photo & Some Hot Chicks.

Oh, baby I love this feature.
This next one gets me hot...

Get a load of these chicks soaking up the heat!

Simply Out of Control.

To everyone who woke up to the news that the vice president is baiting the Russians again, whose leaders and former leaders are sending back the message that they won't be pushed around.

No, no... You didn't wake up in the 50s... although your Republican leadership has been trying desperately to turn back the clock since 1994.

It's just Cheney again.

Seems like when this asshole isn't shooting the face off of his "friend," he's shooting his fucking crazy big mouth off again.

And no one believed me when I said he's an overweight drunk with a bad heart...

Hastert Loses 1/3 of Republican Support.

Incredible. 31% of those Reaganauts who would not have their resolve shaken (heh) are now wanting Hastert and his wrecking crew out of power.

Oh, yeah. You can now call him President-Forty-Five-Percent-of-Conservatives-Disapprove.

Double heh.

Looks like I might be posting cock pictures early today...

You Go, Bridget!

One of my very favorites, Bridget Dooley, has got her new blog thang goin'.

Visit her at Bridget in the Sixth.

Obviously, BD's a baseball fan, no?

What We Call "All Mobbed Up."

The House "Lobbying Reform" bill that passed, thanks to 8 weakling Democrats who were too chicken to stand up for what's right, really shows how badly Republicans have destroyed the Republic.

It used to be that you could actually vote your conscience in the House, and stand by it; you could actually fight and win by voting your conscience and doing the right thing.

Today, because of 8 chickens who are afraid of losing their jobs in November, House Republicans can now attempt to campaign on "lobbying reform" which really changes nothing.

In some circles, we might say that these guys are so wedded to the God-Damned corruption that they don't dare turn their backs on their connections. That's what you call "all mobbed up."

It's hard to see who the chickens really are.

Hastert to NOLA, Troops:

Fuck you! And, oh yeah. Fuck you, too!

In a fit of fiscal restraint that seems to have come from nowhere, Hastert says the Senate version of the emergency suppplemental bill for New Orleans and our troops in Iraq is DOA.

heh.

Sunday.

Sunday will be an important mile marker for me, for you, for the election.

On Sunday, the election will be officially six months away.

Do you know where your candidates are?

I'll have something special for you all on the 7th to make your day.

The Crooked Line Leads To Denny.

At once, anyone looking at a map of the proposed Hastert Highway can see what a crooked dog-leg trail it makes through Kendall County. Odd, isn't it?

I've noted before the connection Hastert and his cronies have to John Menard, and what a big coincidence it seemed that the final plan for the HH would run past Menard's warehouse outside Plano.

Thanks to Yinn's post, I've had a number of good leads confirmed by this writer at citybarbs.

This is absolutely essential reading.

Two thoughts to follow up, though. 1: If I were Mr. Dan Kenney of DeKalb, I would get a dog and a gun and watch myself. 2: I would get one motherfucker of an attorney to walk that information to the press and to Governor Rod Blagojevich, who it is rumored, is looking for a reason to spend Hastert's $207 Million on other projects.

Fristy Gets Smacked Down by Katie.

I'm no Katie Couric fan, for sure. I'm probably never watching CBS again after they hired her to read the evening news.

I am, however, a fan of anyone who smacks down Fristy, as she did this morning.

Couldn't resist sharing after seeing this on Crooks & Liars tonight.

Dems Run The Table on Bolton.

Democrats on the House Government Reform Committee, which hosted U.S. Asshole to the U.N. John Bolton today (RealPlayer clip), ran the table today, pressing Bolton on Sanctions against Iran.

Bolton, incredibly, held it together... well, reasonably well. He's still an unrelenting asshole, though.

Dobbs: Congress "Powerless."

Lou Dobbs opens with the fact that the Republican party has no fucking idea what to do with the current energy crisis.

Add to it a great shot of Hastert waddling slowly to a microphone.

heh. The Republican party has lost Lou Dobbs.

Watch the replay later tonight if you're still at work.

Never Say Never.

I am not ready -- nor will I be before election day -- to call the House for Democrats. It is heartening that Americans are beginning to finally favor Democrats over Republicans by nearly 2-1 to govern; seen as trustworthy to deal with gas prices, the economy, etc.

I just am not convinced Democrats won't find a way to fuck this up before it's over. I've seen it before.

If the local "committee" is any indication, we're in trouble. These stupid fuckers won't even have a meeting, it appears, because they haven't figured out where to meet yet.

They also appear to be equally adept at attracting new people to their "forums" (more like a message system that saves them from using the phone...)

It could be a long six months.

Wonkette's Take.

Haven't seen much of Wonkette lately, so missed this post Friday on Hastert's dash back to his Suburban last week after riding in the Hydrogen Fuel Minivan of the Future.

She calls it: Pussy Cars, in Hastert's view.

Didn't See This One Coming?

In the Right's relentless attack on a free press -- the last place the common man can go for fairness and the truth -- this will one day define the term, "Cheneyesque."

This clearly shows that these people have no respect for our system of checks and balances, or the concept of a free and independent media that would attempt to keep our government accountable to the people.

When Axioms Go Bad.

Remember the one, "You Always Get About What You Pay For"?

It really doesn't work in this case, because this is what you get from a multi-million-dollar staff of the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

Propaganda.

"Best in 2.5 years" really doesn't do it for me. How about you?

At this point, you could say "Best in 5 years!!!!!" which is pretty much what every economic report says now in its opener. It means nothing.

Oh, yeah. Remember: It's Your Money.

Colbert Bitch-Slapped The Room.

No one could have done a better job smacking the President and the entire Washington D.C. Press Corps at the same time.

To watch the replay of Colbert's opening, and the cooool reaction he received from both the Bushes and the press corps, click here.

Mastery.

So Now It's A Crisis.

Secretary Bodman gave the country a refreshing bit of candor yesterday. Perhaps the first from this administration in its long, sloggish history.

It's an Energy Crisis.

Thanks.

I was beginning to think I made up the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about what a complete loony-toons version of the energy price forecast Bodman's hacks had written.

If you need any more evidence of what a completely incompetent bunch of boobs the George W. Bush administration has lined up to run your government with your money, drop me a line.

And if you need any more evidence of what a vacuous place Denny "J. Dennis" Hastert and Fristy have made of Congress, having completely abdicated their Constitutional duties, let me know on that one, too.

50MO. The Authority.

heh.

pfff.

With the sudden demise of Illinois Pundit earlier in the year, 50 Miles Out has become the authority on the search key, "Hastert."

I say again. heh.

I Am No Longer Alone.

I feel so fresh today.

Maybe it's because I've been joined by KC Quibbler, by Dos Chicas, and The Evil Reverend, two new blogs in the Kendall County Democratic political spectrum.

I knew I wouldn't be alone for long once I got the old blood flowing.

Welcome!